The Laura Situation part II

she has the same first two intials as me, in fact.
she jokingly and sarcastically said that that makes us soul mates, that actually hurt me, the way she said it.

jabbar gently jokes whenever i say her name, that makes me angry too, like he won't let me forget that he has a girlfriend named laura too, and he had her first. i just want him to shut the fuck up about it.

man, this sucks.

today i waited all day for a call that never came

like chump, i waited for her to call after i talked to her online today at work.

she was probably with mikey, and she still hasn't told him about me.

like a chump, i called her at midnight. and she was asleep.

she said "i'll see you tonight, ok?" or something like that online. but since i called her last time at 1:30 and woke her up, i expected her to call me.

like a chump, i guess i waited for nothing.

so like a chump, i called her at midnight, expecting to at least be able to talk to her. she was dead tired, and all i got to hear her say was, "yes" "no" and "goodnight".

at least she wasn't still with him.

i have no right to be jealous but..... i can't help but think i wanted so bad to see her today, and now i can't, she's fast asleep.

maybe its better like this.

because, like a chump, i trusted my emotions again....

like a chump, i went to borders, i was going to surprise her by buying a "how to speak cantonese book" and learn it within a week, and today i got past the first chapter, i was going to surprise her with a few simple phrases i learned, but, as the minutes turned into hours, and it turned to midnight, i quickly learned i wasn't going to get a call from her, so i went to go play some midnight basketball, and i did horribly, she was the only thing on my mind and i shot like crap. 21 i lost, and around the world i didn't get past the 3rd shot.

maybe she did it today so she could have energy when i take her to jacks birthday tommorrow, i shouldnt think so bad.

but that doesnt explain why she went to dinner with the guy (speculating) to wish him good luck in vegas and not tell him about me, i mean, if i was that guy, and she hid this from me, i'd be pissed. but i'm not, i'm the guy who she tells everything to, and i guess i should be proud of that.

maybe we can talk it over some wine by the ocean tommorrow at costa mesa about this. this is my one special chance to talk seriously to her.

i think she likes timbo best, but just can't have him because his vows of celibacy, what a straight edge eh?

i feel like i'm her strange second choice sometimes, when i hear about all these wonderful guy friends of hers. but, i know i'm just as witty/funtobe with as them

i know going to the anime store wasn't fun for her, or changing my tire, or even buying oil for my car, but i'm trying to learn about her, and show her a bit of my world. but i'll make up for it by taking her real places special.

i was so mad i didn't want to call her for tommorrow. but i guess she's sleeping early partly for me now, and that makes me kind of smile.

god knows what kind of going away presents she's given mikey today, i don't want to know, but hopefully, maybe they can be the last. and i trust her, maybe nothing happened at all.

i knew what i 've been getting myself into, i know theres other guys besides me, and she says she doesn't care about any, except for mikey, and she's got to let him down slow. i'm just wondering when its going to be, and when she plans to let him know.

hopefully i'll find these things out tommorrow

today minako called, and she wanted to go out to see pirates of the carribean, and i resoundly said no in her face, it was like slapping her, i know, but i had to, i had to because i wanted to see laura today more. more than seeing minako.

i guess i could just date around, but i'm putting all my bets that laura really is the one for me right now
its sad i haven't won laura's heart completely yet, but i guess i'll just have to try harder, i won't give up.