a racist day today.

some lady i work with told me for 6 months she thought my name was Newguy becuase I looked asian and it sounded like an asian name, but that was just someone telling here i was new 6 months ago.

Outside the carolers start to sing
I can't describe the joy they bring
Cause joy is something they don't bring me

My girlfriend is by my side
From the roof are hanging sickles of ice
Their whiny voices get irritating
It's Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face
Wondering how much of my time they'll waste
Oh God I hate these Satan's helpers

And then I guess I must have snapped
Because I grabbed a baseball bat
And made them all run for shelter

It's Christmas time again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don't wanna get beat down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone.

Well I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve
Cause the cops came and arrested me
They had an unfair advantage

And even though the jail didn't have a tree
Christmas came a night early
Causes a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package (hot damn)

It's Christmas time again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don't wanna get beat down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone

I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas (please post my bail)
I won't be home
I won't be home for Christmas

at work today one of our clients said my email was blocked by their spam filter.

my last name seemed like it had too many random letters.....

fuck, i hate my last name.

This was written by a terminally ill girl who had 6 months to live. Its truly moving:


SLOW DANCE



Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?


You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.


Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?


When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?


You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.



Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,"Hi"


You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.


When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away.


Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

i pointed to the button,

"one?", i said, meaning (did you want the first floor?)

"is the loneliest number", he said. "yes"

i stood wide mouthed for a second, realized it was a reference to a song, and promptly pushed the button.

someone caught me off guard. thats rare.

today, i got money raped by the us post office. yes the same place that sells you 50 cent stamps, the cheapest form of long distance communication, charges 187 for a US passport.

funny number, that 187.

yesterday at work I talked to a guy who owned a company thought bought our loan manager product.

to skip corners and avoid costs of an IT team, and since his company is small; he didn't have an IT department

so the backups he was doing were incorrect. and his server died.

which meant 20 million dollars worth of loan accounts that owed him money, he no longer had record of.

i got to tell him the good news.

there is nothing like telling someone they are now out of business and have no way to account for 20 million dollars.

it was a bad day for us both.

Love, A relapse:

If there is a thin line between love and hate, its funny because its always the exact thickness of a strand of her hair.

that quote is all me.

thanksgiving:

we all try to eat some damn big chicken, and try to get along with our disfunctional families.

Take Time And Find Lyrics



It's a rainy night
So take this down to get it right
The drops hit cold and hard
But around the noise we're good

[Chorus:]
You're on your way, you're going strong
As for now we're just along
You're on your way, you're big, you're strong
As for me I hope I'm wrong

ok, the ribwich is back. a seasonal meat. what exactly do they make it out of. i think this bothers me every time it comes out.

january leaving for thailand, 804 dollars for the ticket.

last time i was there i was 18 and had just graduated high school, with no idea what i was gonna do. i visited my family and broke their tv. i think they hated me ever since.

i will write them a letter and tell them i'm coming back, 7 years later, 7 years older, seeking a wife. seriously.

well not seriously. but i'm wondering whether or not to bring a ring just in case.

heres what dating is like for me:

161-169 of 169 First | < Prev | Next >

... wtf, 169 profiles and i sent a message to 3.

really good club.

she came over.

i said i was abstinant.

we had french toast.

maybe i'm in the wrong country.

just as a curiousity, i set up an account for this thai dating website. forgetting about it and coming back weeks later, i'm surprised by how many girls have wrote me:
here we go, now i know what girls are talking about when they get "ego-boosters".......................

Date 19-10-2006 14:06
Subject hi there!
Message hi there! im speechless!

Date 19-10-2006 12:27
Subject Re: hi
Message i <3 you

Date 18-10-2006 02:24
Subject hi
Message nice mix thai,white and chinese...

Date 15-10-2006 11:09
Subject Re [3]: hi
Message i'm 100% thai girl.
where do u live?

Date 14-10-2006 03:56
Subject hi
Message hello,
how are you, i hope you in good health always,i just want to know you better and be ur good freind.
thank you.

Date 12-10-2006 04:56
Subject Hi
Message Hi
Hope u doin fine as well as all the member's of ur family.
I am so impressed by ur profile when i viewed it, that i feel the urge to foward this message seeking to build a sincere & lovely friendship with ur charming personality as we are christians
It would really be joyful to hear from u soon as time allows. It would also please me to have ur
I am waiting for your favourable reply
yours,


Date 10-10-2006 07:42
Subject Re: sawaddee ka
Message Hi Luke

How are you handsome

bee

Date 09-10-2006 15:28
Subject hi
Message i'm oil. i'm thai woman.my english i not good.i'm to dare sext and attrative but i lovely woman and i sympthetic and friendly.i'm 25 years. i live bangkok in thailand. if you need know i send you my e-mail

Date 07-10-2006 07:16
Subject Thank you!!!
Nice to meet you!!
I'm sorry my English is very poor, i'm afraid you will not understand.
my yahoo is

Date 01-10-2006 12:06
Subject hi
Message

hi im 24 years old female from manila, philippines, well i used to live there in fort lauderdale in FL with my aunt and im planning to back there on december, well i hope you like an asian girl, if youre interested message me now to my YM

Date 01-10-2006 08:21
Subject hi luke
Message how are you ? you can speak Thai , really ? nice to meet you . i want to be your friend , it’s ok ?
if you want to be my freind you can contact me

recollecting my weekend:

i was sober, for the most part. i went to grace's birthday.

i feel really bad for her. she has random acquantinces spanning from high school to today that encompasses a motley yet diverse crew of grace friends. not that there is anything wrong with that, except when you are fomulating a guest list for your birthday you realize these people have never met, and if they aren't outgoing, they will be bored by themselves at your reserved table.

afterwards we went to a really swanky aqua lounge that old people used to display their lack of dance skill. it looked like one of those really hard to get into places but it turned out to be really easy to get into. beverly hills, my car wedged between two porsche carrera 4 turbos, like a piece of rat meat between two gourmet breads. a sort of BMW burger, if you would.

i was impressed to see two really good looking asian women who had to be 40-50+ but looked lower 30's. i provided grace company with my out of touch and oh-so-distant-and-rarely-updated psyche. her ex showed up (as she later pointed out, her OTHER ex, as opposed to me), i shook hands and felt like she had introduced me as the nice lampshade she had once. they walked off, i said goodbye to each and every one of her friends with a handshake and repeating their name if i could remember it, then i promptly left out of the front door. i looked back and she wasn't there as she chased me back when i left the lounge for the first time. i imagined her with her ex, if she really wants to date something with tremendous potential but doesn't really do anything in the meantime, she should go out with a stick of dynamite. as for me, i'm the sparkler thats just a bright light she doesn't want to put out or let go.

highlights of the night and consequently the weekend:

1. grace's full hug, brought feelings of another time, another galaxy. it was warm and friendly, and i didn't want to leave. her dress felt thin, her body familiar. i couldn't quite place it. then as she repeated the word FRIEND and how such a great FRIEND I was and how i was her best FRIEND, i placed it immediately. i humphrey bogarted her off me with both my hands at her hips, and determined it needed to stay in whatever galaxy it came from.

2. someone telling me i had a really easily distinquished voice, this meant leagues to me in discovering myself, i never knew. good or bad, i never want to be confused with someone else.

3. people skills. i hate the fact that i can get along with everyone. sometimes i just want to be an ass and leave.

4. take care and enjoy being 22+ gracie, i feel out of place yet so important in your life. then again, so was hitler if you think about it.

i'm thinking of being a big blue bunny for halloween? is that weird?

adventures in online dating:

i starting talking to this girl, then she (OR HE LOL) eventually sent me a link to a webcam site where i guess you pay to see girls tease you, so to get her back i thought i'd mess with her a little, hilarious:

luke : hows your holes, last thing we talked about was your holes
hotgirl alex: asl
luke : lsa
luke : ?
hotgirl alex: what is lsa
luke : what is asl?
hotgirl alex: age sex location
luke : 25, yes please, somewhere cool
hotgirl alex: where is your location
luke : my room
hotgirl alex: what country
luke : usa
luke :
hotgirl alex: cool
hotgirl alex: my pussy is so wet
luke : yes indeed
hotgirl alex: you want to see how et
luke : no wait
luke : actually i'm in japan
luke : lol
luke : do you speak japanese
hotgirl alex: nope
hotgirl alex: im an asian
hotgirl alex: philippines
luke : cools
luke : cool beans
luke : so do you like nice guys?
hotgirl alex: yes baby
hotgirl alex: you want me to do a fucking show for you
luke : hey hey
luke : no i just want to have a nice conversation with you on yahoo chat
hotgirl alex: what
luke : maybe you have another picture?
hotgirl alex: yes
luke : cool can you put it on this window
luke : hello?
luke : are you busy now? maybe we can chat another time?
BUZZ!!!
hotgirl alex: i have to go baby
hotgirl alex: you want me even im a cam girl
luke : aw
luke : sure
luke : its not like its cheating right
luke : and i probably will never see you in real life anyway right?
luke : are you gonna go show yourself?
luke : see
BUZZ!!!
luke : maganda ga po
luke : hindi kua luam
luke : indi ku alam
luke : alskdjalksjd
luke : see the thing is
luke : i'm really a rich guy
luke : and i will buy all your cams
BUZZ!!!
luke : and send you money
luke : weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

been having migranes for the last 3 days.

it must be because of my diet.

only eating one GIGANTIC meal a day. and nothing after 7. no excercize. lots of sleep.

its only in our dreams where we permit ourselves to go insane.

I struck up coversation with the guy who washes the fancy cars for the execs in our parking garage. His thick spanish accent was an effortless counter to my prodding and snarky comments. I found it funny that the reggeton-mexican music, the kind that you find in between the good channels on the radio, the kind i hated to listen to, was blasting out of a porsche cayenne.

he dipped his oven-mitt like cleaning glove in a bucket of dirty soap water as i walked over...

"hows it going"
purtee good
"why do you do this?"
what you mean?
"what kind of satisfaction do you get from this job? why do you like it?"
i listen to da myuseek, i is easy.
"so you like the job because its easy... were you born here in the USA?"
yes, my life.
"lived here all your life... you get to wash beautiful cars... i guess you can't ask for much more, do you have kids, children, sons, daughters?"
yes, many...
"do you do this so you can feed them and send them to school so they won't be where you are at your age?"
what?
"nevermind, here's a few dollars, you've never washed my car, but thank you."

this conversation played only in my mind and when i looked up again, he was still waxing, and buffing...

i walked on without giving him any money, and i went to lunch.

had a strange dream:

one of my tail lights was out and no matter what i did i couldn't fix it. every place i took it to also couldn't fix it.

is this any indication of my my life? its so boring i have "nightmares" about brake lights? or is it just my subconscious telling me i can't fix cars for shit?

whats next, i find pure fufillment in getting the most out of sqeezing every inch out of butter and cream cheese packets?

oh wait, i do.

if you haven't heard by now, i had an abortion.

well not me, but my ex did.

stupid lighthearted jokes aside, it was hidden from my mom, who was and has been living with me while my ex lived with us too.

i mention this to the people i trust, and thats few, but the reaction i get is always the same:

whats new with you?
"well, i did go through an abortion"
are you ok?

--people, i'm alright, i'm just trying to get through it the way anyone else would, move on with my life. you should be asking the poor girl. why does nobody ask me if she's alright? just because we had an abortion i'm a bad person, and i'm willing to deal with that, for the rest of my life, but imagine what she has to deal with.

i hate even bringing it up, and i'm not going to bring it up anymore. it was over a month ago, and it hurt to see someone i cared for hurt at that time, and won't be forgotten, but i don't mention it because i need sympathy.

more than anything its a judgement call from your brain to your extremities to your bank account.

more than anything i thought it would change my views now, but it hasn't. it hasn't changed my views, its changed me. and i am more than my views.

there must be something good inside of me, there must be some way out of here, there must be something more than this.

i'm done with it, i'm not mentioning it anymore, and if you bring it up you're an asshole.

deleted post about email from my work, because when i looked at it again, it was boring even for me to read.

and my blog is much more comfortable without it.

emo lyrics of the day:

If I could open up my chest, then maybe,
I could find a way to give you just a little piece of my heart
-------------
i deleted the post about my day at work because it was long winded and rubbish.
-------------
Not every movie has a happy ending
But frame by frame
I'll learn to love someday

don't know if I stated this already,

but love revolves around 3 things:

envy
malice
and attention.

as far away as you get from those things the closer to love you will be.

when i say shotgun, you say wedding.

<3 emo lyrics:

when deadbolts awake you from deja vu dreams,
at four in the morning you know where I'll be.
out running red lights asleep at the wheel.
the sirens feed my nightmares,

I just close my eyes and I'm already here;
its already too late.
I know its nothing but lies,
but they sound so sincere;
I find them too hard to hate.

and she calls from the doorway "stolen water is sweet,
so let's drink it in the darkness if you know what I mean"
and she calls from the doorway "stolen water is sweet,
so let's drink it in the darkness if you know what I mean"

and I'm almost sure
that I've been here before,
that this is not the first time I've stood in front of this door,
with an overwhelming feeling that I shouldn't go in,
but it seems this is a battle that I never could win.

and you!
my true love!
you call from the hilltop.
you call through the streets,
"Darling don't you know,
the water is poison."
and I say!
"Come on and give me my poison."

what have I done?
is it too late to save me from this place?
from the depths of the grave?
we all are those ..
who thought we were brave.
what have I done?

emo lyrics of the day:

I wish I was as invisible as you make me feel.

I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself.

---- let me know if you want to know the name of the song.

girls like to date the asshole that cuts people off in traffic.

girls like to date the guy who blares music too loud and drives too fast.

and the more i examine them the more i see that they do cheating stuff a lot more than i do.

i'm not the asshole that cuts people off.

i'm the guy who gets cuts off and sees the girl in the passenger seat with the asshole.

i was talking to my cousin,-- "i need to keep a dozen eggs in my car at all times".

wheresmyricebowl (11:04:38 PM): yeah, theres a picture of me
wheresmyricebowl (11:04:48 PM): when i was a kid
wheresmyricebowl (11:05:05 PM): i needed a bear to hug at night to sleep
wheresmyricebowl (11:05:16 PM): i just can't sleep without my bear
wheresmyricebowl (11:05:24 PM): now i'm too old for a bear

i got a haircut. i flipped thru a magazine and landed on a random page, then told the lady "give me this".

she gave me it.

it was a picture of a white guy in a suit with tennis-ball-length hair.

i'm changing m major to english. i can't deal with chemistry reqs for biology.

do you like "the killers"? ok, stop nodding your head and read this.

have you ever really listened to the words of "jenny"?

HE FUCKING KILLED HER!!!1111oneoneoneeleven! BUT HE LOVED HER!

get your head out of your ass and listen to that song, its 10 times as great when you pay attention to the words.

i have no warmth for saturn buyers

why do you buy a car that excels in no area?

every car manufacterer has their gimmick. honda their gas milage. toyota dependability. volvo safety. acura their asianness. mecerdes best luxury. bmw also luxury but trying not to be snotty about it. ford americanness. saturn nothing.

the only thing that comes to mind for saturn is their mediocrity

that says to me "look, i bought a saturn, i have no personality"

This is how i want to respond to people who ask me "how was your day?" when i get off work - - - - keep in mind this is basically a template of every single day at work for the next 4 years i plan to work there --

EDIT: deleted, see 10/4/06

new events:

Ani-magic
Anime Con
Mikomi Con

nerd!

good news is i don't think i'm getting hit on by my boss anymore,

the bad news is that could be sad.

as days go by.

my heart grows cold.

i can't seem to let this all pass me by.

i wish i could meet a girl that could make me feel like i was on fire.

make it real, its the only way for me.

i never used to care.

now life without coffee seriously fucks up my living schedule.

what happens is, if i have a cup of coffee to last through work, i get home and i am able to continue on with my day.

if i don't have coffee at work i get home and get tired at 6pm then sleep till i wake up the next day at 5am, then i go to fricken work, ENDLESS CYCLE!

have you ever, in a public restroom, put your hand under the automatic soap dispenser?

it takes a second to recognize your hand, then it jizzes onto your hand.

but you take away your hand just a second too soon and it jizzes all over the sink. and you do it again, and it does the same thing. don't you, for just a little while, feel like you have superhuman speed, like you'r dodging the hand soap?

do you know how many diseases can be transferred on a toilet seat? more than 1200. why are we relying on a piece of paper that breaks just by pulling it out of the dispenser, to protect us?

to the girl who only had a pic of the london bridge on findapix:

"you are the nicest looking bridge i've ever seen"

why do we always turn back when we walk away from the ATM?

are we just double checking to see that it didn't spit out a million dollars we could have missed?

match.com, or fatmatch.com as I now like to call it, because every other person is huge, has now lost my interest.

after trying to formulate email after email to get a girls attention, i've come to grips its all about the nice looking white guys that they want, not about what you do or say in your profile. if i was white i'd probably get a response back every time.

heres my last email...........
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just wanted to say thanks for ignoring my email.

I know it wasn't that interesting, or entertaining, but I just don't do pick up emails.

I had just about given up on match.com

This makes me fully give up on match.com and on girls like you.

Least you could do is email back and say, sorry, don't think you're my type, or don't think it would work out. I would understand that.

I hope you meet your white or latino boy that cheats on you and brings you back to this horrible site.

Cya
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

can't help but think i'm over my head as she gets ready to leave in a few days.

this spoiled princess philipina girl.

mother of a would be first child.

i promised God i'd go to church if he let her be safe for the abortion.

i didn't go.

i'm waiting for a bolt of lightning to hit my head.

you know what, i'm tired of posting song lyrics and woe-is-me posts.

i just don't know what to do with myself.

do i follow my instincts blindly?

someone else: (10:45:58 PM)i just felt he wasnt being very realistic in general
wheresmyricebowl (10:46:30 PM): really how
someone else:(10:50:33 PM): i dont know
someone else: (10:50:44 PM): very show-offy about a lot of random things
wheresmyricebowl (10:51:17 PM): lol
wheresmyricebowl (10:51:30 PM): he probably cuts people off in traffic and wears scarfs

in a linkin park video, theres two gundams, one on each side of his bed, they were 1/60 scale, i build 1/100 scale ones, smaller, but still just as cool. gundams are supposed to be big giant robots piloted in the future by people with blue hair.

i was thinking how i never want to be the guy that cuts someone off in traffic and wears scarfs.

one thing that bothers me tho.
i hate girls that wear wierd hats.
khristine has 4 laced cowgirl hats in her luggage from the philipines.

In the memory you'll find me
Eyes burning up
The darkness holding me tightly
Until the sun rises up

so i got my girlfriend pregnant.

and after a few arguements she's not my girlfriend anymore.

but i still agree to pay for all of the abortion.

even though its 50% her fault.

thats the news with me.

please tell me the wonderful time you are having, i dare you.

i'm due for a miracle.

i've seen cities, saints, and scholors, but no perfect plan unfurls.

why is truth so hard to find in this world, yeah, in this world.

i'm waiting for a sign.

i'll stare straight into the sun, and i won't close my eyes,

till i understand or go blind.

i'm looking. i'm searching. will i ever find her? time is running out.

the girl who moved in with me isn't the one for me.

we had an arguement last night about a card game and arguements. when you have arguements about arguements, its over......

of all the gin joints in all the countries of the world.... she had to walk into mine....

strangest friendster message ever.....

From: Joan
Date: Tuesday, June 20, 2006 6:46 PM
Subject: hi my dear
Message: good day
i badly need your testi the pics was cool!!

he he he

muah

http://www.javascriptworld.com/scripts/chap16/script03.html

worth exactly 2 minutes of your time

random ad on craigslist:

Seeking Sneezer - 23
Reply to: pers-178495870@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-05, 1:54AM PDT


I am simply looking for someone I am attracted too,
(I am a picky girl)
Seeking someone Who is preferably allergic to SOMETHING
(cats,pollen,perfume,flowers,dust...ect..)
Maybe..Me...:)
(I know this is a weird fixation, but hey...who cares.)
basically I like a guy who sneezes.
a cute guy.
cute sneezes too.
send me your pic if you can..
bless you.



......... that made me ROFL

I think my boss looked at my butt today.

Fathers Day

I bought him some yoshinoya and called him on the phone. he was in long beach. i said i'd stop by that night and take him out to dinner.

i didn't.

i opened my car door today and it fell off.

the window also wont go up.

time for a new car.

did someone say PORSCHE!?!?!

a woman came into the elevator, with me and a black man.

she was a very hot philipina lady who had a strange bracelet.

it had some silver hearts or somethin dangling from it.

all of the sudden the black guy says,

"why you got monopoly pieces hanging from your wrist?"

then i said "yeah, where's the hat?"

and we conversated for 2 minutes in the elevator about monopoly, trying not to laugh

i had to hold my laughter for 2 minutes.

the books i am currently writing:

the car ride: story about a man reliving his moments before death, realizing at the end he's in hell and thats his sentence.

the last dawn: a post-apocolypse story of a man who meets his true love days before the nuclear holocaust. he survives and searches whats left of the world for her.

asking the executive administrative assistant for more artificial creamer packets and sugar packets for our coffee station, i pretty much realize i have been absorbed into the heart of office life.

its not bad.

most people would hate sitting in a cubicle looking at a computer screen and a wall for 8 hours.

i think its restricting, but it gives me time to write. books. blog. and bullshit.

i pretty much succumb.

i succumb to every urge, every whim, every craving i've ever had.

that means posting on myspace that other people need to shut up with their posting millions of surveys they've answered that nobody cares about or reads.

thoughts on cinco de mayo....

a holiday celebrating the mexicans beating the french.

honestly, no country should be proud about beating the french. i mean, they have been beaten by almost every country in the world. they are a wussy artsy fartsy country and the closest thing to fighting or martial arts in their country is fencing and maybe a little capoeira.

but i guess if you are mexico you celebrate beating the french.

i'm emo. a closet emo.

a guy who lives in pacific palasades who used to work for the cia told me

"you're only as successful as you make yourself"

then sometimes you can make a room feel perfect when you try.

yeah. got another new job. 40k. thats about how much the devry counselor said i'd make if i gradumacated.

ok keeping you posted on my job:

fat quiet women
small bickering women
18 year yold jailbait and the fathers that want to set me up
stand up toilet bathrooms in offices
take home pizza and days i stay at home but getting paid for it
ms-dos laptops

i've seen it all.

i've worked at this place a month and it is like a year.

meeting old friends for lunch.

i've seen it all.

i swear i've seen it all.

just today i had a grandma in a walker cross santa monica blvd in front of a million cars.

just like a movie.

i've seen it all.

benzes exploding around me and millionires that let me set up their printers.

i've seen it all.

i swear i've seen it all.

i look out of the corner of my eye and its my mom in my living room. i havent seen her for 4 years.

i look down and a paycheck that is over 1000 dollars is in my hand.

i look at my life, and i like it. theres a great terriyaki place next to where i work.

i look beside myself, and theres nobody standing there, i need a soulmate.

so i go to this office today.

in irvine. i'm tired but i want to remember

that guy had a stand up toilet in his office bathroom.

now thats success.

i got a job.

www.microleague.com

also www.pcsuperdeals.com

its like a dream job but with less pay.

i dont have to worry about coming in late

theres also a philipina named Shiela who works there, a definite hotty.....

i'll keep you posted

back to this thing again.

i got to thinking about jobs. blow jobs, work jobs, u name it.

naw jk thinking about work jobs. i had an interview today, with a vampire. almost, a nerdy microleaguecomputers.com guy named ned. ned is my would be boss. he looks middle eastern and stares at me from across his desk.

his stare is unwavering. e asks me questions. what are my long term goals. what kind of experience i have. all the time i'm thinking, why am i doing this for a 10 dollar an hour job?

and then i eat at subway and remember. this subway sandwich just cost 10 bucks.

first time in a while i got out of the house to do something besides drinking.

went to an anime expot type of thing.

people playing board games, walking around looking at comic books and toy vendors.

i think pat summed it up. "i think i realized today that we are nerds"

i said "maybe not nerds, probaly geeks, cuz we're cooler and better looking than nerds"

"definitely not dorks, definitely not dorks."

This song is called "kwam cheua" from the album Believe by Bodyslam Ft. Ad Carabao.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

???????????????????????????????????????????
man geuap ja lom man neuay man laa meuan taep kaat jai
It's almost collapsing, it's tiring. It's exhausting, almost like dying.

?????????????????????????????????????
dern maa jon tor mai jer joot maai bplaai taang tee fan
To walk till disheartened, not finding the destination of the dream.

??????????????????????????????????????? ????????
ja glap daai mai taa dern dtor bpai yaak yen ka-naat nan yang taam jai
Is it possible to turn back if walking on is that much difficult, I still ask myself.

??????????????????????????? ??????????????????????? ??????????????????
dta-lot chee-wit chan jer nai sing tee kit reu man ja bpen a-rai tee pit lae chan eng tee long taang
Throughout my life I find in my thoughts, whether it'll be whatever that's wrong, and I myself on that wrong path.

???????????????????????????? ?????????????????????
chee-wit man dtong dern dtaam haa kwaam fan hok lom klook klaan tao-rai
Life, it should be lived following your dream. No matter how many times you fall.

?????????????????? ??????????????????????????????
man ja bpai jop tee dtrong nai meua dern tao-rai man gor bpai mai teung
It will go and end at where-ever, when to walk however much, one also can't arrive.

???????????????????????????????????????
dern dtor chaa-chaa mai yaak bploi fan hai man loot meu
Walk on slowly, don't lose your dream, don't let it slip out of your hand.

????????????????????????????????????????
tee sang hai chan bpai dtor gor keu kwaam cheua tao nan
That which command me to go on is only faith alone.

???????????????????????????????????????? ??????????
kae nai wan nee rieow raeng yang leua gor yang dtong fan dtong gaao bpai
Even today, with the strength still left, then still should dream, should progress on.

??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????? ??????????????
dta-lot chee-wit chan jer nai sing tee kit mae mai waa man ja took reu pit ja kor tam soot hua jai
Throughout life I find in my thoughts, even though regardless of whether it'll be right or wrong, I'll do as I'm happy.

???????????????????????????? ?????????????????????
chee-wit man dtong dern dtaam haa kwaam fan hok lom klook klaan tao-rai
Life, it should be lived following your dream. No matter how many times you fall.

?????????????????? ????????????????????????
man ja bpai jop tee dtrong nai dtae ja yang ngai gor dtong bpai hai teung
It will go and end at where-ever, but whatever it'll be, one also should go on till you arrived.

????????????????????? ??????????????????????
???????????????????????????
tee soot taa man ja mai koom dtae man gor dee tee yaang noi
At the end, if it's not worthwhile, but it's also good that at least you can remember that once you'd ever progressed so.

?????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????
kae kon tee cheua nai kwaam fan ja hay n?t ja neuay gor yang dtong dern dtor bpai
Only person that believe in dream, though it will be exhausting, will be tiring, will still want to walk on.

(Interude)

??????????????????????????
chan tor tae sak gee tee yang mee wang
I truly disheartened by however much, still have hope.

????????????????????????????????
mae plaat-plang sak gee krang yang fan glai
Even though I blundered however many times, I'll still dream afar.

?????????????????????? ?????????????????????????
mae chan lom chan gor kong mai dtaai chan yang mai dtaai chan yang kong haai jai
Even though I fell, I'll probably not die; I'm still not dead, I'll still breath.

??????????????????????????
mae tor tae sak gee tee yang mee wang
Even though truly disheartened by however much, still have hope.

????????????????????????????????
mae plaat-plang sak gee krang yang fan glai
Even though I blundered however many times, I'll still dream afar.

?????????????????????? ?????????????????????????
mae chan lom chan gor kong mai dtaai chan yang mai dtaai chan yang kong haai jai
Even though I fell, I'll probably not die; I'm still not dead, I'll still breath.

???????????????????????????? ?????????????????????
chee-wit man dtong dern dtaam haa kwaam fan hok lom klook klaan tao-rai
Life, it should be lived following your dream. No matter how many times you fall.

?????????????????? ????????????????????????
man ja bpai jop tee dtrong nai dtae ja yang ngai gor dtong bpai hai teung
It will go and end at where-ever, but whatever it'll be, one also should go on till you arrived.

????????????????????? ??????????????????????
???????????????????????????
tee soot taa man ja mai koom dtae man gor dee tee yaang noi
At the end, if it's not worthwhile, but it's also good that at least you can remember that once you'd ever progressed so.

?????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????
kae kon tee cheua nai kwaam fan ja hay n?t ja neuay gor yang dtong dern dtor bpai
Only person that believe in dream, though it will be exhausting, will be tiring, will still want to walk on.

??????????????????????????
chan tor tae sak gee tee yang mee wang
I truly disheartened by however much, still have hope.

????????????????????????????????
mae plaat-plang sak gee krang yang fan glai
Even though I blundered however many times, I'll still dream afar.

?????????????????????? ?????????????????????????
mae chan lom chan gor kong mai dtaai chan yang mai dtaai chan yang kong haai jai
Even though I fell, I'll probably not die; I'm still not dead, I'll still breath.

??????????????????????????
mae tor tae sak gee tee yang mee wang
Even though truly disheartened by however much, still have hope.

????????????????????????????????
mae plaat-plang sak gee krang yang fan glai
Even though I blundered however many times, I'll still dream afar.

?????????????????????? ?????????????????????????
mae chan lom chan gor kong mai dtaai chan yang mai dtaai chan yang kong haai jai
Even though I fell, I'll probably not die; I'm still not dead, I'll still breath.

i watched wheel of fortune yesterday, the winning puzzle was the title of this blog.







SENSES FAIL LYRICS

"Buried A Lie"

Rest in peace girl, your death is such a shame
The paper said a bullet got in your way
But I smell foul play, possible poisoning
I had to bring you in for questioning
I went to your grave, dug up your body
Brought it to my house, where you lay

So let's play doctor babe
We'll operate today
Incisions must be made
You could help solve this case
For me...

I headed downtown, to share what I had found
It's not a suicide, it's a crime
I have a witness, it's clearly evident
There had to be someone else present
At the time of death, poisons in stomach
How could she pull it, if she's dead?

So let's play doctor babe
We'll operate today
Incisions must be made
You could help solve this case
We need a scalpel now
Under white lights you lay
We've got to hurry up
Before the flesh decays
Away...away

I'll catch the murderer
And send him away
I'll get the evidence
From your last day

i sit in a dark room.

counting on fingers instead of cutting them off.

i got a headache from thinking of a lady in a blue dress.

its a cold morning, i stop at an am-pm to buy gas.

idropped her off and i said see you later blue eyes.

and yellowcard played "only one" on the way home.

more than once.

you fucking people piss me off. i get passed up on a promotion because some tard who never fixed a computer in his life went over everyones head and got the general manager to approve it.

my manager is a ogre of a lady who smells of formeldehyde and can't leave work without having 5 dollars worth of junk candy and soda and 2 dvds.

i gotta give it to pat, he's come off of tweak and speed, and just plays world of warcraft, thats a pretty good improvement. now if i can just get him off of leaving things around the house and maybe getting him on shaving, we may have a pretty cool cousin.

right now the girl situation is pretty lame. once in a while we hit the thai spot in hollywood and get hit on by like 30 year olds while we watch windows media player play old dance and hip hop music videos on discounted, faulty TVs.

once in a while i might message a girl on myspace or whatever, but it never goes anywhere, we never have too much in common, and its the fucking internet.

i guess i'm starting to blog longer again, which must mean i'm depressed.

crazy

my cousin got out of jail yesterday.

i went 110 on the freeway to go pick him up.

i cried a little.

i got a haircut the other day and the old armenian lady doing my hair told me she needed to wash it before she cut it. this is well known by me because my hair is so thick it hurts if they cut it without washing first.

so i stick my head back in the toilet bowl where they wash your hair and she washes it.

its only until she needs to wash the back of my head that she stoops down, and her boobs plunge into my face.

this wins the most awkward moment of the year award.

1.open winamp
2. hit ctrl+L
3. copy and paste http://64.236.34.67:80/stream/1003

enjoy

yet again at the thai bar

got hit on by a few 30 year old thai girls. or thai women, as it were.

why are are thai girls whores, seriously.

u never see them till they are like 30, you know why?

cuz in their mid-twenties they are preparing to be whores.
cuz in their early twenties thay are preparing to prepare to be whores..

don't put me down. cuz i'm already there.

today i was at a starbucks and i made jeff laugh till he had tears in his eyes.

i thought about being a comedian once more. why not?

give it a shot. my mom can't be anymore disappointed as it is.

i promise baby, we'll go out tonight.
i'll take u somewhere the sunset really dies in beautiful agony in the arms of the night.
baby you and i, are going out tonight.
i don't care what your plans. i said we're going out.

Some say love, it is a river,
that drowns the tender reed.
I say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed.

yesterday was first night in new place. lots of echo, lots of lonely.

i wish there was that perfect girl that could be there for times like these.

kinda feels haunted.

and i wake up and wait for cable guy.

cable guy is my only friend for the day.

lonely.

cousin comes over and we move a 500 pound tv up 3 flights of stairs.

dead.

tired.

yesterday was sucks squared. cubed even.

we wait 6 hours to get to see my cousin in jail.

6 HOURS.

I have never waited 6 hours to get ANYWHERE in my life.

so we get inside and get the pass to see him.

and after that a sheriff comes out and says "sorry he was misbehaving, you'll have to see him another day"

and thats it. i dont get to see him. i never been more pissed, but i realize who it is i'm going to see, and thats its a privilage to see him, not a right, so i crunch my fingers into my palm and leave.

OMFG. WASTE OF A FUCKING DAY.

my space me

www.myspace.com/lukethesamurai

times is tough.

i had one of the best new year's ever, and one of the best day after new years too, if you get what i mean....

it looked like me and my cousin were gonna just drink the night away after going to citywalk and refusing to go to saddleback ranch bar.

but then just as we made our sad journey home, i remembered a thai place i was shown, i thought, worth a shot.

so we go there and its wall to wall people, wall to wall honeys, and everyone is acting like its a club.

then afterwards, we actually do go to a club, very ghetto, but very worth it, free, and since all the while our whole adventures of the dayonly cost us like 8 bucks

all the while i'm still trying to find this girl i met at the resturaunt named Noy, she said she was gonna be there. i guess she got too drunk and left

she said she was gonna be there, i guess she got too drunk and left.

them sounds likes song lyrics to me.