recollecting my weekend:

i was sober, for the most part. i went to grace's birthday.

i feel really bad for her. she has random acquantinces spanning from high school to today that encompasses a motley yet diverse crew of grace friends. not that there is anything wrong with that, except when you are fomulating a guest list for your birthday you realize these people have never met, and if they aren't outgoing, they will be bored by themselves at your reserved table.

afterwards we went to a really swanky aqua lounge that old people used to display their lack of dance skill. it looked like one of those really hard to get into places but it turned out to be really easy to get into. beverly hills, my car wedged between two porsche carrera 4 turbos, like a piece of rat meat between two gourmet breads. a sort of BMW burger, if you would.

i was impressed to see two really good looking asian women who had to be 40-50+ but looked lower 30's. i provided grace company with my out of touch and oh-so-distant-and-rarely-updated psyche. her ex showed up (as she later pointed out, her OTHER ex, as opposed to me), i shook hands and felt like she had introduced me as the nice lampshade she had once. they walked off, i said goodbye to each and every one of her friends with a handshake and repeating their name if i could remember it, then i promptly left out of the front door. i looked back and she wasn't there as she chased me back when i left the lounge for the first time. i imagined her with her ex, if she really wants to date something with tremendous potential but doesn't really do anything in the meantime, she should go out with a stick of dynamite. as for me, i'm the sparkler thats just a bright light she doesn't want to put out or let go.

highlights of the night and consequently the weekend:

1. grace's full hug, brought feelings of another time, another galaxy. it was warm and friendly, and i didn't want to leave. her dress felt thin, her body familiar. i couldn't quite place it. then as she repeated the word FRIEND and how such a great FRIEND I was and how i was her best FRIEND, i placed it immediately. i humphrey bogarted her off me with both my hands at her hips, and determined it needed to stay in whatever galaxy it came from.

2. someone telling me i had a really easily distinquished voice, this meant leagues to me in discovering myself, i never knew. good or bad, i never want to be confused with someone else.

3. people skills. i hate the fact that i can get along with everyone. sometimes i just want to be an ass and leave.

4. take care and enjoy being 22+ gracie, i feel out of place yet so important in your life. then again, so was hitler if you think about it.