if you haven't heard by now, i had an abortion.

well not me, but my ex did.

stupid lighthearted jokes aside, it was hidden from my mom, who was and has been living with me while my ex lived with us too.

i mention this to the people i trust, and thats few, but the reaction i get is always the same:

whats new with you?
"well, i did go through an abortion"
are you ok?

--people, i'm alright, i'm just trying to get through it the way anyone else would, move on with my life. you should be asking the poor girl. why does nobody ask me if she's alright? just because we had an abortion i'm a bad person, and i'm willing to deal with that, for the rest of my life, but imagine what she has to deal with.

i hate even bringing it up, and i'm not going to bring it up anymore. it was over a month ago, and it hurt to see someone i cared for hurt at that time, and won't be forgotten, but i don't mention it because i need sympathy.

more than anything its a judgement call from your brain to your extremities to your bank account.

more than anything i thought it would change my views now, but it hasn't. it hasn't changed my views, its changed me. and i am more than my views.

there must be something good inside of me, there must be some way out of here, there must be something more than this.

i'm done with it, i'm not mentioning it anymore, and if you bring it up you're an asshole.