A word or two on guys. (ad nausea: love)

At this point in my life. I notice a lot I do has to do with girls. Not everything, but a lot. If I pick a seat in class, I pick the seat thats next to a pretty girl. If I buy clothes, I buy clothes that will attract a pretty girl. Even if I eat a meal, I order something that is less likely to make me fat, so I can still get pretty girls.

The universe pretty much revolves around you, you pretty girls. Until I find one that will satisfy both lust, love, and lonesomeness.

When I love myself, I treat myself, and its like girls don't matter. I'll order the most fattening fast food, and play video games till 3 am. I'll wear a mustard stained t-shirt with a cd burning software logo. This is usually when I hang out with the guys.

Between these fits of lust for girls and love for myself, these is a balance. This is my outwardmost view, and what I put to everyone who knows me well. It keeps me niether skinny nor fat.

The guys, I notice, vary their actions based on experience, drive, and age. Age I think is the most key factor. Age can determine confidence, and the other two factors, experience and drive. How much sexual drive a guy has depends on confidence, and confidence depends on experience. So essentially all these things are entwined in a sort of lustful web.

If a guy gets caught in this web, more than likely he'll get stuck for quite a while, before getting out.

There are good guys and bad guys. But you don't have to look out for the bad guys. You have to look out for the guys that are in the grey area between good and bad. You see, bad guys are just that, so heinous you can tell right off the bat; most girls will stay clear of bad guys automatically. It is these men who are actually quite bad, but view themselves as doing an ok thing, that you must be wary of. They will slap you in the face and think an apology and a rose will reset it.

They will undoubteddly cheat, and cheat to the point where they see no difference between good and bad. The most dangerous and convincing con-artist can even fool himself.

I tend to think I am a good guy. I wear lighter toned clothes to symbolize this. So called "bad boys" will like black. I like white, a prerequisite of purity and innocence, even though I have lost mine years ago. In fact, you will always see me wear white, khaki, or blue.

White, pure of heart.
Blue, deep and vast.
Khaki, a working man's color.

That's pretty much who I am. Although I do wear black sometimes, I don't feel right wearing it.

Once a cheater, always a cheater, remember that. Forgiveness from me comes less swift than ever for a girl that would lose my trust.

So a message to any girl who has found themselves with or had found themselves with a cheater:

Here stands a good man. They exist. Do not give up hope on the male species. Not all are dogs. All do have a dog's basic animal instinct though. Through refinement of character and will we suppress this to become a civilized being. We can interact and have a wholehearted conversation, just catch us when we aren't being fed, being walked, or licking ourselves.

You don't have to neuter us. No need to save our semen in banks for the day we don't exist. No need to cut off genitalia or have the motive to be angered to thus an action.

I don't know if this was a defense or speculation or explanation of myself. I just know that there are a few problems with women and their respective partners right now. I'm just generalizing the point that you must hate the person, not the gender.

Hate the person, not the race. Hate the baker, not the bread. Hate the dealer, not the addict.

Hate is a word that goes with pain, although I can never feel your pain, believe that I hate many things, including the same things you hate. I hate the way people are treated sometimes. I hate the people that treat the people the way they do. Hell, I even hate myself sometimes.

I won't say what the future holds. But if its one of these 3 things: revenge, remorse, or realization, then there was probably love. Love is not always lost. It changes hands sometimes. Remember tha every time you love, your heart is divvied into another piece, and afterward it should become equal to the other pieces. If it doesn't, something is unsatisfied.

If something is unsatisfied, then satisfy it. That is a key to being happy.