saw a black car driving down the road. took me a while before i realized it was a hearse. it was driving over 90 on the freeway. i was wearing the pants i wore at my uncles funeral. i was driving 90 too. i looked behind the hearse and saw a mile of cars as the funeral procession. little orange stickers on the upper left window that said "funeral. a motorcycle cop at the very end as escort. i can only hope my funeral is as organized and i am so cared about to have a mile of friends follow me down. actually. right now i work every day in the pants i wore to my uncles funeral. wtf.

i remember my cousins in orange monk clothes, crying, we all helped push the button that was labeled cremate. the stickers on the furnace reminded me of the punk stickers in the bathroom of the rock club Chain Reaction in Anehiem. they said "HOT" and "DO NOT ENTER" in red bold face. we pushed a button and my uncle was gone.

there are ironies abound in this world. some even think that irony is the norm.

today i also saw a squadron of helicopters frlying in sync around the whole valley. wtf.

yesterday i saw a hanglider over the freeway. wtf.

that hanglider guy. i have to expand upon. so jealous. there are things about me, things you don't know. you don't know how great my fear of heights is. i still remember the time i threw up on the revolution at magic mountain. i remember the time at raging waters when i conquered the high slide. yet till this day i can't look over the rail on the second floor of the mall.

when's the last time you have seen a person hangliding over your head? never right? i never have. just watching in awe. wish i could get off the ground like that. skydiving before i die. maybe a skydiving marriage. i've heard of those.

its strange. i'm not scared of airplanes. there seems to be a certain elevation range i'm afraid of. about 50 to 500 feet i'd say. just enough that a leg might break and up to the point where i still might live as a parapalegic. anything less and i'd survive, anything more and i'd splat. luke is still so black and white.