3 days of no posting and look at me, i'm a post machine.

every time i have a dream and theres a bug in it i wake up in a cold sweat and brush off all over my body. literally i have to force myself out of bed some days by jumping, rolling or turning the alarm clock up so loud it annoys neighbors. sometimes i wake up and start walking and find out my legs don't work yet and buckle to the floor. i look up at the clock and it says 1:30.

way to waste the day, ass.

i dreamt i was in japan. teaching or helping to teach. only all the kids were american. they loved me but i hated myself. i recognized nobody. there was a school with an open courtyard and a black gate. thats all i remember. someone analyze this for me.

ever have those moments where you wish you could freeze and keep as a reminder of where you were? so you stare for a while and hope the image gets burned into your brain. these are moments i had like that.

best buy sign at city of industry, yellow, big, stared at an upward angle like an omen.

glorious sunset as the backdrop of a girl i used to like. when i see the same girl and she's just as beautiful, just not mine to hold.

beautiful sunrise and a chill song, calm morning, and no traffic. the brisk solemn coldness of a califonia winter morning reminds me of a normal chicago summer night.

faces of people i've made laugh. teeth showing. their future wrinkles on their forehead.

the places me and my mom used to go when i was a kid. the 80's songs my mom loved, her self-help tapes, sometimes she would sing and i would cover my ears playfully.

many more. they end up being montages set to the music of that time.

i remember a time me and my mom made a road trip down to florida from chicago, when we got there we didn't do anything. cloudy dark days with rain the whole time. we stayed in a hotel by a swelling and furious beach. i watched tv and played gameboy. my mom cried. the beach towels we had were soaked and dripping in the bathroom. i never went back to florida. i hate florida.

soon i will make good on my promises before about what i would blog about and make.
soon.
i just have to research what i said.

sometimes i pet my car. its taken me so far. i need a new one soon. the crx will be a rice rocket and i'll have a civic hybrid like the tree hugging woman with glasses i saw on the 605.

thats it for a while, blogging too much makes me more depressed sometimes. need to concentrate. need to get out. need to stay in and finish music, writing, and home porjects.. X.x