The "I'm-not-a-trend" test.
by Luke

count up how many of these you have...

motor scooters
ipods
cell phones (add 20 points for the "chirp" phones)
bottles or tubs of gel
ug boots
"Joe Basketball player's" signature shoes

add...

number of times you've been to a club this last month
collection of tv show dvds you own
abercrombie and fitch shirts

subtract...

how many books you've read this past month
collection of anything you own besides tv show dvds
hot topic shirts

make total...

- integer = you're in a cave, a fucking cave. (not a trend)
0-2 = life or no life, you try (not a trend)
3-5 = you qualify for a person sitting in the back on TRL (trend)
6+ = you are more than a trend, you are the hate of everyone with less than 6 (ultra trend)




i got a -1

soon to come.... the do-you-have-any-real-friends? test

am i a wedding ring, or an old guitar?

because i got pwned.

sick as hell today and i wanna get ill. so i go to the place where my homeboys chill. gotta get my girl to rock that body, before i have to hit the bacardi.

steel reserve, mgd, mickeys, and vodka punch.

i'm sick today somethin fierce. i was sick anyway but alchohol, i now know, cures no flu symptoms.

i was a ninja turtle for halloween. got many props. which one? rapheal. only one they had left. would have perfered leonardo, because i have swords.

party was a blurred debacle of kitty tails, lip piercings, and different trips to the bathroom.

matt's partys are so banging. ucla crowd, nerdular happatistic fun. the spirit is definitely willing, and the soul is not weak.

we get signal early.

u-dog.

u know your drunk when...

went to grace's parents house and fixed all her dad's computers. he stuffed a check for 100 bucks in the pocket of my faded world war 2 jacket and would not let me leave without it.

i left the butter out for a day.

jeff tried to eat one of my year old donuts.

i don't know why, but when i saw the name for this guy online, i could not stop laughing for at least 4 minutes. the name was "Potato Salesman".

i asked if he worked at mcdonalds. my theory was right. and i laughed again. i can just imagine someone saying "I'm not a drive thru mcdonalds guy, I'm a Potato Sales Consultant!"

yeah. it was the funniest thing i'd heard in a while. Potato Salesman.

went to school for once.

wish i could write like hemingway.

I am here. I am not there. There is a house. LMAO ROFL OMG L33T!

pants busted an ultra mean-fatty sag and then fell down to a rain puddle, i must be losing weight. so to celebrate i bought chicken mc nuggets >.< ..... oops.

randomly perusing the internet i found something. i busted out my credit card. moments of weakness lead to moments of joy ^.^

doing the korean faces for no reason ^_-
korean beat my ass in cvs2 yesternight, so i beat the drums

haiku? gazundhiet. gazunheit? napkin. napkin? food. food? sushi. sushi? haiku.

tried to reason out of it, but the circle brought me back, guess ur getting a froggin haiku.

Rain loos'ed, sky broken,
Your help is not needed, God.
My cry is enough.

anti-hyped on dramamine agian,
stumble into a chasm of white space,
then blue,
then hopefully black.

i'd call myself if i had the number.

Aey sent me an email today. Looks like she's alive. Why don't any of my wishes ever come true?

ain't nothing better than staying in your room and listening to times past.

I am. A little bit of loneliness.

A little bit of disregard.

A handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars.

Feeling pretty cruddy, like the back of a coal miner's shoe.

This cold virus is rocking me pretty bad.

Watched some explosions in the sky. Almost fell asleep, but as I did, I noticed beauty.


How can you tell you really love or loved a girl?

When, randomly you find a dead strand of their hair caught on your face or in your mouth, and you don't immediately spit it out. It is carefully pulled out, looked upon, and placed to the side.

When you stare and you smile at her, like a simpleton at a calculus problem.

When the last words after she slit your throat are the apology for bleeding on her shirt.

Awesome weekend with my cousins. or should i say jawsome.

For the first time in a long time went to a party i enjoyed, actually had FUN. no lame time, no plans. just went, and ended up where the wind took me.

Now, I'm stranded in hollywood at a Net Cafe, wasting 4 hours because there wasn't a ticket for me.

Not all a loss. Making the most of my time looking for a zippo lighter, listening to street music, enjoying hollywood.

With a wonder and a wild desire.
Every day is worse than yesterday.
Haven't touched the stuff though. Sober and alone. Soberlone. mmmmm calzone.
Idealization, romanticism, socialism and existentialism are like the four winds for me.

What do you frocking do when you're too smart for suicide and too dumb to disconnect?

I disapointedly and disheartendly quote Sandra Bullock from "Demolition Man" when I say
"What I wouldn't do for some ACTION around here..."

I'm gonna work on saying "Oh Sugar!" instead of "Oh shit!" maybe that will buy me some heaven points.

Metaphor of my day-- "I lit a cigarette that tasted like a plumbers handkerchef"
Metaphor of my week-- "It's darker in my room than a carload of assholes"

Friday I'm invited to happa club thing again. I need a haircut like an albino needs a tan.

It's anoher day older in these exiled years.

i won't post the entire lyrics. thats annoying.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/floggingmolly/theseexiledyears.html

lol, i wonder what my mother would say if she got a hold of my blog.

i'm gonna ditch school today to watch "the girl next door" and go to the bank to cash my check.

So fuckingly awesome fun i'm having!

fuckingly is now my word.

The phone is still unplugged, and AIM is still uninstalled

don't bother. my friends are useless. i can't even plan a cool hangout. nobody calls me anyway.

nobody is gonna call me anyway. nobody wants to see me. nobody wants to hear me.

it's been a while since i've had a fun time.

30 entries found for bland.
Entry:
bland
Function:
adjective
Definition:
tasteless
Synonyms:
banal, blah, boring, dull, flat, flavorless, ho-hum, humdrum, insipid, milk-and-water, monotonous, nerdy, nothing, pablum, sapless, tame, tedious, unexciting, uninspiring, uninteresting, unstimulating, vanilla, vapid, waterish, watery, weak, wimpy, wishy-washy, wuss, zero

lol. banal.

There's a song by Rufio called "Stop Whining" that is a protest against suicide.

here's a message from my mom. something happened with the format.

Hi Luke,I am glad to hear that you like Best Buy. I understandthat you probably can't take time off for Christmas. Iwill spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day here withthe usual family. Then I can fly out to visit you onthe 26th and stay until Dec 30th. I will try to get aticket for myself this week and let you know thearrival and departure day and time. Did you get my message that I have a 2 bedroomtownhouse by myself? Scott and I split up for good.I have a home phone # that I have unlimited longdistance. So I can call you anytime. Just let me knowthe best day and time to try to call. My home # is ###-###-####. You should let me know what movies to send or else Iwill keep selecting them myself.Please send me e-mails too as often as things come upthat you want to share with me. It seems I hardly knowyou anymore.Is Jeff going to be living at his parents house all byhimself? That would be a nice place to stay if itworks out for you!!Any new girlfriends?Don't forget to let me know what day and time you aremost likely tro be home.Take Care, I love you and miss you all the time too.Love,Mom---

Luke G <http://by15fd.bay15.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/compose?curmbox=F000000001&a=186c9f8539cb273485f8389d0add2ba7&amp;mailto=1&to=lukeglupngam@hotmail.com&msg=MSG1098142107.22&start=1583635&len=4308&src=&type=x> wrote:> I got your message. Unfortunately I don't have long> distance on my home > phone so I can't call you back. Also I lost my cell> phone, and need a new > one, might need your help with that.> > Yeah so, working at Best Buy is great, the best> jobI've had so far in life.> > Dad is doing fine. He's just staying here until I> graduate. I keep > switching from pierce to Csun for classes, thats> whats taking so long.> > I miss you a lot, but I don't think work will let me> off for christmas, > thats the only bad thing, I don't think I'll be able> to fly up there this > year. It's ok, I think I get overtime hours for> christmas and christmas > eve.> > Right now, I'm saving up for a drum machine, a car,> and a motorcycle, but I > still need help clearing up my credit, theres also> some other person besides > me using my social security number I found out, that> makes me mad. I might > move in with Jeff at his house, his parents are> buying a new house in San > Diego for retirement.> > I know I missed your birthday, and I know I missed> Grandpa for fathers day a > while ago too. I'm sorry, just really busy trying> to decide what I need to > do at this point in my life. I just got a new> perscription for contacts but > my teeth are horrible, the porcalin cap i had on my> upper left tooth came > off and its now naked, I brush everyday though.> > I'm writing a book, its a horror/suspense/thriller> like something Stephen > King would write. I read his "On Writing", also I> read the new version of > Lewis and Clarks journals that came out in Borders> this month, that was by > someone else.> > So, if you want, try to catch me at home, I'm> usually home after 10pm on > work days. Just rememberr I can't call out to you.> Email is always good too.> > Love,> Luke

she even hardly knows me anymore. what the hell has happened to me?

i blanked out my mom's number so you little weasels won't call her. :)

i bought doom 3. a halloween gift you can say. and scared myself shitless with it.

also a pack of blank cd's. to burn myself some sad music.

what do you say, what do you do,
when it all comes down?

It not only rained it poured. To the anthem of "Celluloid Dream" by AFI. I know not one word to this song, its pretty impossible, but the melody seemed fitting.

I wanted to run my car off the road, but I just ran it home.

I'm sorry, I have to break off contact from everyone for a while.

I'm unplugging my phone, I'm uninstalling AIM, I'm going to be at home.

This is how I will communicate to the outside world for a while.

Glad you're listening. I'm not.

Don't look back, that was the only thought running through my head. Don't look back.

And as fitting, it rained for the first time in months.

I said goodbye to her for the last time tonight I had intended to mend things. My last word to her was "forever".

And still, when I close my eyes. I see her in the shapes of so many fireworks.

And still, when I breathe in, I can smell her. The smell of the morning after the rain that is tommorrow.

slept for 16 hours last night...

i guess i blog a lot when i'm lonely.

jus some things i want to remember.

A blonde on the freeway, she was in her early thirties, apparently didn't know how to change a tire. So she was leaning on the freeway divider, legs exposed with a short peach skirt, designer sunglasses. I could have helped her, but then, there were about 4 black trucks behind me already swerving to the side. I picture guys with muscles the size of tea kettles and i figure she'll be alright.

I wish I could just show my legs and get maybe, hmm what.. a light bulb changed?

It's times like these that remind me I have a penis.

Met Natalie today at work. She reminds me of "Bee" from back in chicago. My type I figure. Blue eyeshadow and dickies work pants, wow. She said I look hispanic, GODDAMMIT, OK ITS TIME FOR A HAIRCUT!

everything went wrong with this morning, but let the next person's xanga or whatever tell you about their whole entire day, theres plenty of that crap to read.

while you're at it, go read a chicken soup book. those are crap too. they aren't really books at all, they more resemble Mad Libs.

because the black space here deserves another post.

i don't do this for reward you know. that's why it's so flattering when people say my writing is tops, and they have been.

so let us engage in this ghetto telepathy.

if you think about it, it is. writing transcends time and space. you can read this anywhere, anytime. it doesn't matter where i wrote it. i could have typed it in my school lab, i could have typed it while i'm having spaghetti at home at my desk like i am now. yeah and i just got a piece of meat stuck in my teeth. you don't care, a week later after i type this, you'll be reading it, it doesn't matter where, and the piece of meat will long be gone.

but my thoughts are still here.

you know, i've permanetly lost 2 readers. so if you've stuck with me this long you either love me or hate me. The 2 people who swore they would never read this again are David,( for the post about his annoying boys 2 men music back when we were roomates), and Laura, (for the post about the sex, the only post i ever deleted).

Grace i think once swore off my lyrical crack cocaine, but its seems she's now once more doing a few lines.

Its amazing, that girl. While sitting on the toilet, I got an idea again. Don't worry, i didn't slip like Doc Brown in Back to the Future and bump my head, it was a genuine idea.

What is amazing is, the guy she stuck with for 2 years. I'm not at liberty to say the details, but, hastily, i'll say that she stuck with a man who did not love her enough, and loved him for it, and left me, a man who loved her too much, and hated me for it.

blah blah its more complicated than that, but i like to simplify.

i think he's learned, and i think i've learned. he's learned that he can't get away with shit like that. i learned some of grace's bounderies. and that we can still be friends.

He was a man of great menial importance, a do-er and a go-getter. I am a man of somewhat silent repose.

I wanna post on his site something like "na-na-na-nah, boo-boo" anonomously. Also I notice that many of his posts end with a question, probably means he's really lonely inside and reaching out for someone to contact him. Also I notice his posts are boring. Also I notice that he focuses and justified what he did to grace by saying he's changed. i say that doesn't change the fact that you did something un-repairable. you can't just drive a car off a cliff, strapped with a time bomb, and say, "aww hell, i learned, i guess i better not do that again, i'm sorry owner of the car, it was my fault." Don't fucking drive the car off the cliff, and don't strap the fucking time bomb to it, or else you better fucking be in the car yourself. CUZ UR KILLING ME, LARRY! ahahahahaha, ok............ its late. god, i should have posted that on his site too, lol.

thats my ultimate take on it. i'm sure she's quite done talking about it. well with that thought, i am too.

Now, my next subject is one time chance meetings. Say you meet a person, like I met May down there in the post before this.

Before that, a few more things I am, and how I see myself.

I am a man of strategy, commonness, and tactileness. lol, you could tack the word love after all of those i suppose, strategic love, common love, tactile love. I say cheesy things, things that are common, but they are things that are tactile, things that you can touch and hold onto. Tactile love.

Now take a word that could describe you. Not THE word that describes you, but just a SINGLE word that COULD describe you. Tack the word "Love" after it. It's true isn't it? You're that kind of lover.

I just discovered that. Not from a fucking chicken soup for the blasted soul book, but right now, blogging my brains out.

Let me get one thing straight tho, while I am common, maybe 25%, i am also uncommon, maybe 185%. oh, and uh, 2% lard or something.

I don't call people. If i do, its necessity. Thereupon, this is my chosen media to communicate to my friends. My beloved friends.

And i expect no calls, I actually run away from any conversation i know that will involve small talk. I absolutely hate small talk. Like a fat kid hates rice cake. ahah, 50 cent reference.

anyway from talking about ex, to talking about me, now i will talk about you. yes YOU.

my generic friend. a friend i look for, would have personality. much like one of the first things i look for in the opposite sex. they don't need legs, just someone to hold a conversation with, and someone who will laugh.

if u've ever laughed at me, you're probably my friend, if you've ever laughed with me, you're probably someone who's cool and my friend. if you've ever laughed around me, and i'm not laughing, you're probably someone i hate.

i don't look for tits and a heartbeat. i look for zits and a heart.

i'm posting this much maybe because i know i'll be busy with work and kareoke and frightfest this weekend, dunno if i'll have time to post, but that was just an afterthought, i really just got bored.

i don't know if this post was informatively witty sassy cool, or just George Bush-ishly boring. (another 4 years, Holy Magic Monkeys, hell NO!) so if you've read this far, congradulations, you're probably my friend too.

oh yeah, i never talked about the chance meetings, fuckit.... i'm tired....

making money and a book. maybe the book will make me more money.

hehe remember Nabiki from Ranma 1/2? and Kitsune from Love Hina?

well, theres always a money grubbing woman in any anime. or any timezone.
i believe there are girls out there that are like this 4 real.

getting to use the money two days ago was a fun. it was a fun.
now my place is decorated, but putting the decor up wasn't half as fun as getting them.

I met May, and what probably is her grandmother. She was wearing an American Eagle shirt. I mentioned my sandals (that i wear almost every day, from the same store). She helped me carry my shoji screens to my car, she didn't have to, but we shook hands and I told her my name. I wasn't parked for 2 seconds but a parking enforcement officer pulls up on Broadway in the middle of Chinatown and starts punching away on his thingamajigger.

its funny, you go to chinatown, you enter a little souvenier shop, and speak slowly with the old woman across the counter. slowly, and clearly, like a speaking to a child, but respectfully. And the 80 year old asian woman literally busts out "Hey whats up dude, man, whaddaya want?" I literally was ROFL

I got a parking ticket for her, but I forgot to say goodbye. I told the parking cop to "mail it to me" and jetted off. I forgot to say goodbye to her, so un-gentlemanly!

So i made a promise to myself. Since I can't have someone so rich whose parents own a store in Chinatown. I promised myself I'd get rich. Just like the can of creme soda said. "You should be able to make money and keep it". Emphasis on should.

http://www.purevolume.com/download.php?id=167518

do people get ideas off me?

now mike started a weblog and jong plays the electric guitar...

anywayz...

here's the part where i tell you about my day.

there was a miniature army outside my night class, yes i do go to class, i wonder why people ask me that. i was like, why are there so many people outside?

it was 9 pm, i was escaping in the 5 minute break. class is suppossed to go until 8-10 pm, but most teachers put a break in between.

and these people, they were all like me.....

i didn't even pay attention in class. i was reading a book i bought. 2 actually. yes i actually read. probably more than u. u love TV don't you? or movies? point is i haven't met someone who can keep up with how fast or how much i can read. many of my friends have read more in their life than me thouigh. i'm all about quality, not quantity.

personal interactions, or interpersonal actions, depepending on how you look at it. They astound me. I love watching people. It's like watching animals in the zoo.

yeah, the books i'm reading: "On Writing" by Stephen King, to help me with writing my own book, which will probably now be a short story. The book jacket says "never has a book been so good at making you a good writer", or something like that.

and "The Journals of Lewis and Clark". Its my version of a reality TV show.

I had to stop by borders again to buy them. yes i saw Annie. yes we talked. yes i lost her number again. no i didn't stick around.

i bought a creme soda there, and when i pulled off the cap and read underneath it said "you should make a lot of money". no i'm not kidding, that's what the creme soda fuckin told me.

Besides being a dick in a glass case, other dreams i share include living in a crappy place and working like a slave.

Another night alone, with the lights down low.

Contemplating what is to become of me.

right now the only place i'm driving, is myself, crazy.

How to tell you're dating the wrong guy. (part 1)

There are things that someone does that are dead giveaways they aren't a good person inside.

1. He is the kind of guy that will drive and swerve around to the rightmost lane when the light turns green so he can cut in front to the left and be first in the lane.
2. He buys you roses, but the cheapest kind.
3. He gives you something, and asks for something in return.
4. He asks to go dutch, when he's got enough to pay.
5. The first thing he reaches for is the boobs.

If you see any of these in your boyfriend, he's possibly a dick, most likely an asshole, and most likely not someone to stick with.

i saw a man get hit by a car 2 days ago, on reseda.

the ambulance came and i bought a gyro.