First day of school, again.

How many first days of school in a lifetime do we get? 30? 40? 50?

This one was so exhuasting. Thank God CSUN found an old check from March and called. It was worth $224. I could afford all the $1.25 drinks pierce had to offer. Its like finding 2 hundred dollar bills on the ground. Where was this money when I REALLY needed it? That was my birthday month, fucking Christ.

So I wake up and putz to school. Wake up with 2 hours to spare, get there just on time. First person I talk to. A philipinA girl named Jennifer who's last name comes right after me on the class rooster. haha, rooster. Anyway, we end up talking and I end up reading her like a book and halfway bragging about my skills and talents and majors. I Knew she was philipina, working to be a nurse, with a bad influence old boyfriend. Maybe I'll tell you how I deduced all this from 1 question, when you're older.

What I didn't know was, that just a few minutes after that, i would be attracted to her.

I really wasn't looking at all, seriously, i'm happy enough being attracted to 3 girls in my head already, but here comes an all-powerful 4th.

She wears a pink jansport, a white t-shirt, and a blue butterfly in her hair. Heck she's like a female version of me. If I had boobs thats what I'd wear.

We talk and finally the sub-instructor comes 30 minutes after class should have started. There was no awkwardness between me and her, and a lot of smiling. Even 3 years older than her I smiled, looked at the ground, and moved my foot in a bashful arc on the dirt.

Lo and behold, she sits next to me. When I heard the instructor butcher my last name it was right after hers, he was reading them alphabetically. The instructor offered us stools to sit down, and like the dork I am i tell her my gay pickup line joke. The one that goes: "wanna hear a popular gay pickup line?" "may i push in your stool?"

All during the class I think she spoke out two wrong answers. I made 1 blunder, and spat out a "doh" before I could catch my dorkiness. I think I caught her smile, she smiled a few of the times I looked over.

I caught her writing. The cutesy girl handwriting that I just oogle over.

I said to myself, "Not on the first day of school". NOT on the FIRST day. Don't ask her number!

I didn't, I knew there was plenty of time to learn more about organic compounds, and her chemical composition within the course of 15 weeks.

However I did pull a Harold when I left. Not even a studdered word left my lips. I couldn't even say "nice to have met you". She eloquently pointed out I dropped my pencil, to which I mumbled "thanks," zipped it up, turned to the door and grumbled an almost inaudible "i guess i'll see ya" and didn't look back. That class was the best part of my day.

To think I get to spend 1 hour and 50 minutes with her monday thru thursday with her, I think will make that the brightest part of my day.

Fuck folgers! The best part of waking up is Jennifer in my cup.

Another Luke theory on Life:

The older you get, the more your life is worth.
Think about it:::::

Before you come into this world, when you're just a fetus, you're life is worthless, you can literally be thrown into the trash.

Then you are born and you're a baby, you have no posessions, no speech, no nothin'. If you die here people won't care. They will say "aww thats a shame", but nobody really knows you, they just feel sorry for what you could have been.

Next you're a kid and you have maybe a backpack and a lunchbox. This is probably the saddest part of your life to die in. I know a kid who was around this age and fatally got hit by a car. His mom been messed up ever since, like she had been the one hit by the car.

Lets skip to your twenties. My age. You have a car, but no house. You have gathered up a bunch of shit and junk and possessions, mostly worthless, but sentimentally to you they are worth something.

Late life you have a car and a house and a wife. Maybe you have kids early in marriage. All of the sudden you are worth a lot more to people. Maybe you're the breadwinner, maybe you're a stay-at-home dad, it doesn't matter. By this time you have many friends and many old baseball cards.

You die like Hugh Hefner with an estate and buried with 3 blondes. You have accomplished something. Or you die like a bum in the street, a piece of chicken pesto pizza given to you by some asian kid. You have accomplished nothing.

::::: Life is determined by what you do with your pile of junk you are handed. Its what you do with your shit that determines everything.

Likes and dislikes. When you're a baby you are fed a certain food, maybe its a certain color. You don't like the food, and hence don't really like the color. Later in life you are given a choice for a color of a car, and don't pick the color you don't like, the color of that food.

preach on.

Many things have transpired, and I can only remember a few.

Work is over, school is starting, and theres a few things I need to share and remember about being a Lifeguard, Swim Instructor, and Camp Counselor. The kids love me. I think I can handle a few of my own someday now that I have experience bossing them around. Although, I still wonder why kids are holding hands and kissing at such a young age, and what to say if I ever see that again. We had one deuce, thats lifeguard lingo for a poo in the pool. We had one throw-up. We had one bloody nose. I guess we had the bodily fluid variety pack. I cannot teach kids how to swim. Even with all my patience I don't like telling them the same thing over and over. Its easy to supervise kids as a counselor, it's like watching sesame street. All in all, the only thing you can threaten kids with so that they behave is sitting down.

By far the best day of the weekend was the day at El Torito. I didn't know El Torito was so poppin. For one, we got our drinks within seconds of ordering; the bartender was on speed. Yes, I'm not kidding you, a bartender on speed, go to the El Torito on Victory and Canoga and you'll see him, his name is Javier. Not a bad kareoke voice might I add.

After we got pleasantly plastered with every drink imaginable, we did the smart thing and decided to dance and drive home. Preposterous you say? I am glad to say everyone made it home, and came to work the next day, but not very proud. It was a party with all the lifeguards, I didn't know exactly what time it started so I was 2 hours late. When I arrived Coach and Richard had radish faces and I felt like I was missing out. These guys are rich from working at camp or something, they ordered rounds for everyone, sometimes 40$ to 80$ rounds of drinks for 8 people.

And we danced, I remember having my hands around a very stout latina, who didn't have love handles, but maybe love doorhinges. I remember singing songs I didn't know the words to. I remember the time of my month for under 10$. Everyone bought me rounds.

I was told I do everything a hot guy would do. Play guitar, Lifeguard, and Dance. I even write poetry and pay for my own place. It's true I'm rarely single for long, but I didn't do all those things to get girls, i swear. They just happen to be things I like.

some quotes cuz i feel like being funny again:

pers O n343: give me you snow board or i'll beat you up
WheresMyRiceBowl: lolz
pers O n343: living in an apartment again ?
WheresMyRiceBowl: soon
pers O n343: bring your snowboard !
pers O n343: so i can pick it up someday
pers O n343: $60 ?
WheresMyRiceBowl: was it 60 or 80
pers O n343: lol 80
WheresMyRiceBowl: lol
WheresMyRiceBowl: you viets are like jews i swear

hotturtlesex: dude the extent of your weirdness never ceases to amaze me
WheresMyRiceBowl: haha can i quote your ass on that
WheresMyRiceBowl: cuz you seem to blow things out your ass
WheresMyRiceBowl: jk
hotturtlesex: lol
hotturtlesex: yeah you can quote me
WheresMyRiceBowl: yay
WheresMyRiceBowl: wait...
WheresMyRiceBowl: which one is talking now?

haha reading other random people xanga's. mostly cute girls. very bored. its like watching reality TV. its fun to eliminate them before they even have a chance. i'm so dastardly fuckin evil. invader zim is my hero.

just making sure i never meet these girls:
a few down, a couple hundred million to go.....

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Sarcasticallyswt (pink shirt from forever 21 is one of her most favorite things to wear...)

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Thia (taken)

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=jennieboo8285 (19, innocent, and a virgin)

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Wahine5780 (uhhhh.... please stay in ecuador!)

ok ok ok okok... i really have to stop laughing now....

potentially i have just saved myself.... (multiplies in head) 8 years of my LIFE!

2 years for every girl. 4 girls. 1 for the relationship and 1 for the break up.

ohhhh.... i just thought of something. its pretty wierd i'm like the only guy i know that does NOT prefer a virgin. i don't even like virgin margaritas anymore.

1 out of every 4 of us shouldn't even have been born.
Yay for big families.
Yay for overpopulation.
Yay for global pollution.


statistic came from here:
http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/csections/polltips.htm

Saturday if you couldn't find me I was at my cousin's house at the beach. Sorry I left AIM on.

Some people said hi. Its funny how different people say hi. Some just say my name, "luke". Others say "hey". Very few of my friends say "whats up" anymore, thats fine, I know I wouldn't want to be bothered by trivial life small talk. There is someone who greets me as "rice bowl". I think thats cool too.

Ahhh now stories from the beyond.

At hermosa beach i met todd, or rather todd met the ground, then me. He was drunk wandering around, probably looking for his friends who ditched him. Just before todd got to the crosswalk button for Pier and Hermosa Ave, he fell backward like some gigantic white tree. I felt like yelling timber and laughing but actually he hit the back of his head pretty hard on the pavement. when he came to, he had a swarm of people around him all taking care of him just like long time friends would do, and i watched. Must have been embarrassing to him, i wonder what made him get so drunk. Lost a girl? I bet it wasn't habitual because he was wearing some pretty nice clothes. i asked him his name, he was so drunk i thought he said "tom". it wasn't until the last minute of meeting todd that i found out his name was actually todd. Meanwhile his friends pull up in a yellow cab, ask if he's alright, say good job buddy, and then take off in the cab, what asshole friends.

So it happened that we crossed that street where todd lay, many times that night. doing the poor man's "club hopping" where you just stand outside of various clubs and walk around, it was fun. Each time I would say "Hi todd", and he would make a sour face then smile. There were many more occurances with todd, such as when i told mimi there was a tall white guy named "Todd" hanging out with us. Its so cool to see the affect on a korean girl's face when you say you're hanging out with a tall white guy named "Todd". hilarious. haha maybe that was just mean.

the rest of the time we hung out at this beer--, i mean pizza place and had some buds.

the rest of the time at my cousins was uneventful with me and dean just playing more than 200 matches of very competitive street fighter, and 1 other thing....

pat punched dean. my cousins who are brothers almost got into a serious fight.

for the first time ever i saw pat punch dean in the face. over a fight about stupid food with stephanie. they were both intoxicated pretty much. i promptly broke them up and told them it wasn't worth it and our family is screwed up enough.

afterward for the first time i had an actual talk with stephanie. she promised me she'd lay off the drugs. she promised me she'd try to shape up. i told her not to bullshit me, and she said she wouldn't. i trust her to keep her word to me, maybe not to her brother's, but to me. then we'd go hang out this weekend at hurricane harbor or something. she's just 16 and she's done every drug imaginable. told you our family was fucked up.

i told her a lot of other things and i finally got an answer to something i have wondered all my life about her and my uncle.

anyway i'm glad to be home and with some halfway normal kids that just splash me with water instead of hard family truths.

whatever happened to todd? after mimi got to hermosa, he was just gone, and thats the last i saw of him. safe journey, todd.

"=" game time.

Jessica Simpson = Avril Lavine
Andy Dick = Dick
Tong = Dong = Thong = Tanya
Yoshinoya = Dinner
Luke = Jobless Wonder
Pierce College = DOH

Finally watched some Naruto. Was all that I expected and more.
Nothing beats fuckin watchin anime with the door open to let in a cool breeze and a bowl of ramen.

Do you regret anything this summer? I don't. Do you regret anything? I don't. Does anyone regret you? Probably.

Luke-Life-Song-Blog parody time.
Sing this to the tune of "Ocean Avenue" by yellowcard

There's a place on Roscoe Avenue
Where I sit and drink a brew
With my friends I smoke a cuban
And it feels so wrong

Sleeping all day
staying up all night
stayin up all night

There's a place on the corner of Mason street
I would walk up to Tong in sandled feet
We're both 20 something odd
and it feels so wierd

Sleeping all day
staying up all night
stayin up all night

If I could find my towel
things would get better
At my summer job
I just get wetter

Let the kids splash down on me
And ignore what I sayeayeaeayyy

--too lazy for the second verse

the whole lorena bobbitt story

because the name of his porno when he got it reattached was pretty funny

let me do a rough calculation in my head. no pun plz.

calculating the % of girls i have dated that have been molested....

60%..... thats not a very good fucking figure.

OMG no pun plz.

I came home and as I was driving down the street there was a gibungous 12 foot tall gate with a 5 foot sign that said "Gate Closed", ironically stating the obvious. I laughed to myself.

Lets get it started in here. theme.

ever had that feeling like you should just try to kiss someone and get it over with?

either way. it would make the night more rememberable.

thats what i think we crave. something tangible, something to remember.

we go to things and we do things to create memories. memories fuel the heart. the heart fuels the soul. we are left feeling whole when we have memories.

you should hate sitting around the house. the most fun you could have by yourself is the least fun you could have with 2 people. The most fun you could have with 2 people is the least fun you could have with 3 people. and so on and so on.

you could dare yourself to drink a bottle of hot sauce but it have nearly the effect as with more than 1 person there.

of course you have to have a good friends for this plan to work

anyway i would like the beer to stop talking so ta ta.

Another day, another dollar down the drain, another drink, another bullet in the brain.


Yeah I didn't get invited to Jabbar's cosmic bowling thing or the hangout at Santa Barbra.

No worries, they were both LAME. from what i hear.

I know there can't truly be a party without me.

Anyways I introduced Mike to the thai bar today. 4 heinekens and my wallet is dry, like my parched mouth.

Carol said that if she were younger she'd jump my bones, and she wanted me for her son, she'd find me the perfect wife.

But the only one for me right now is Tong. She is so pretty and shy. She pinky promised to call me, that was the first time we touched. I guess my previous post about Jessica was wrong.

i must make it a point to remember the "firsts" with women. they come back to haunt.

Me and mike are practicing to speak Thai. We had a good conversation in English about Thai family, which is much like the mexican family, the father is "the man".

Anyway here are some beer facts about luke:
Favorite: MGD
Favorite Import: is Newcastle an import? Corona or fosters then.
Favorite Light: Sam Adams
Least Liked: whatever the fuck jeff bought that one day, black voodoo? otherwise i like pretty much all beer. scratch that keystone light sucks balls.
First: legally? a can of fosters. illegally? a bottle of bud light at my uncle larry's birthday.
Last: a fine bottle of heineken, which i used to think was nasty.

why do i blog when i'm so buzzed? i don't fuckin know, i'll go read my Poe collection.

developing a bit of unwanted pudge, again.

its all the drinking i been doing ever other day.

time to eat healthy expensive tacos and run around the block a few times.

honestly we all could lose 5 eh?

my monitor broke. i was using the comp and all of the sudden everything turned red, like a bloody nightmare or something. now i have a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny screen i can barely see 8 point font.

big party saturday. cant wait, can't wait.

another excuse to drink.

More minute information about last night...

Girls that can get drunk off of 2 drinks, good? bad?
chicken nugget tuesday and the plethora of nuggets for 1 hot mustard package.
i'm funny. i'm really funny. to drunk people.
i have a lot of cd's.


pinchy cavronne way.

Interjection. Wait. Last night I just hung out with 3 very fine girls, by myself. I can't believe it. First time that has happened since 'Nam, or even the Korean War.

I have the sneaking suspicion that Jessica likes me. Whatever gives me that idea? She gets my number from a friend, when I show up to hang out she hugs me and leans her head on my shoulder, and she tried to get close to me all night.

So quick recap in my mind about my single life. Jessica, Kristin, and Tanya. Christ, if I had a couple more names I could make my own rap song.

Lets rule out Kristin, cuz she's pretty much a bitch, and taken anyway, as i find out at McDonalds. Lets Rule out Tanya because as much as a bangin body she has, she has my number, I don't have hers, and we don't speak the same language, literally.

So that leaves Jessica. In the later posts i suppose you'll see me go for it.

my cousins are back, and with a vengence. this time they do not bring wild turkey but they bring..... um.... old memories.

we headed over to the thai bar. its turns out that the waitress there (Tong) liked me, but was too shy, so she told Carol, my Dad's old friend who happened to be there and who also saw me naked running around when i was 3.

it turns out that i liked her too, but i figured it would be too cliche to ask a bar waitress out. not my style. but off a hint from carol and MGD confidence it turns out i asked her number. she said no. then came back 15 secs later to ask if i was serious. she asked me for mine. i wrote my home phone and cell on a bar napkin she passed to me. it was like a movie. i gave both numbers not because i was desperate, but because my cell is broken and nobody can hear me when i pick up unless i put it on speakerphone.spearboxxx. speakerphone.

when we walked outside, the bar was closed, it was dark. Tong said she saw a ghost. I saw her silver v6 honda accord witht he license plate "love 79". but she was born in '80 so she says.

if you ever get a chance to kareoke, try to do some linkin park. as my ghetto cousins would say, that shit be the bomb.

ah yes thats new news but let me tell you the old. i told my cousins about my theory about stephanie and their dad. almost crying i told them this about molestation and their sister. they said they understood. in fact, dean drank so much that night he was talking non-stop and for the first time ever i saw him yell at pat, his brother, and they almost had a violent argument. i stepped in with my few but powerful words of "thats enough", "you guys are brothers", and, "we're all family, we love each other". except it was strange because those phrases combined make a much better statement than spaced out over the 5 minutes i interjected them.

i still can't believe i drank and kicked it with a 50 year old white lady who saw me naked when i was 3.

I wish you wouldn't walk away, because theres some things I'd like to say to you.

If my life is a song then these blog entries are kinda like the lyrics. If my life is a poem it would be freeverse of course. If only love could be as simple and structered as a haiku.

I could spend a million minutes meandering around a meaningless maiden, and she could deny me in just one breath. Shut me out with closed eyelids and bleeding song of silence.

interesting problem with my phone. i can hear but i can't talk. i see text messeges in my future.

I think an apology is in order. To Laura. You deserve better than online dissing and boo-hissing, but the missing is pissing me off.

Hey, have fun, its the weekend.

My cousins are sleeping on my floor in my new "neat" place, we watched the butterfly effect. directors cut. one movie, one game, thats was the deal.someone should have cut the director.s head off. for making that horrible alternate ending. nah it was definitely ok but so sad. its funny tho to see the theatrical ending. us the public are fed endings that will make us happy.

I often wonder what woman will put me under a spell next. Nothing is like being held so tight. I always think this town is shitty without her here. What am I doing with my life? I signed myself up to teach more kids to swim, instead of going to Thailand. Nothing is like visiting your own funeral, grabbing the shovel and breaking the earth of your future grave.

I can't stand kids, yet I am one. Here's to the Thai Bar tommorrow with anyone who's sloppy enough to fall into my slippery casket.

Quench my love for emotion. hopeless romance. bitter fashion of lines following me into the sun.

omfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfg

i'm still up. wtf.

go away. go to sleep. whats wrong with me?

you know that book i told you i was reading? by michael c? i read it. ALL of it.

omfg. it was 364 pages. in one night. my eyes hurt and i don't feel sleepy.

it was a good book. maybe i was starving for one.

well i might as well type some more, maybe i'll get tired.

checked my email. 96% spam 4% actual email. i got an email from jenny and a letter from audrey. i'm begining to suspect my life is nothing but a bunch of friends and ex's strewn together. either that or i'm just fucking tired.

name three things significant to me that are right next to me:
1. jar of Goober's Grape. (we see I am lazy, but efficient. a 2 in 1 pNb spread.)
2. 2 green dollar chips to the Wat Thai of Los Angeles (we see more lazy. but also health conscious, and giving. I didn't spent all my chips on food there, i keep them as souveniers and as long as i do the thai temple profits more)
3. my moms mug. i use it for cool refreshing water. she has her own mug for her insurance company, it has her name and phone number. i've never called it. go figure that one out i'm not spelling it out.

there should be 4. THE FUCKING BOOK

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(little picture of book i'm reading goes here)
Currently Reading:

STFU! just kidding, but those erk me. Its like all xangas are the same..... come, be part of the collective..... the hive.

Seriously tho. reading "Prey" by Micheal Crichton, my favorite modern author. classical would be Poe. its a great book. not many days do i get done hanging out with friends, doing all kinds of crazy zany luke-stuff, and think after all is said and done i say... gee.... can't wait to get home to read my book!

same guy who wrote jurassic park btw. this is a futuristic thriller about nano-machines and technology and how it goes wrong. as the book flap says: it was programmed as a predator. and we are its prey. i love this guy cuz you actually learn something when you read his books. he does his homework.

yeah i like to feed my mind healthy stuff sometimes. most of the time it just gets junk food in the form of MTV and video games.

i think this has to do with my cleaning. cleaning gets me in the reading mood. the productive mood. when i clean i feel productive, not just like i'm a big vat of sperm ready to be released like a pot of boiling kidney beans. i want to explode, and the let the beans hit the ceiling. reading is what i do when i'm simmering.

Ain't nothing but a Luke thang, baby. 1 loced out Luke goin crazy.

omfg i found a Thai bar, and grill! Complete with cock-tail waitress. what's funny is i think the other waitress is her mom, and they were both hitting on me. Everyone from Thailand wants a piece of me. Ok they want a piece of my marriage visa.

Dave was with me, he drank 3 1/2 glasses. I drank 1/2 glasses because i'm the D.D.

the name of the place is "Thai Bar and Grill" omfg who would have thunkit. its on mason and lassen, i like the sound of it. go there one night to see a young man drowning his sorrows and trying to cop a look at a cocktail waitress.

we felt rush rushed and we didn't have enough for a tip, and we ate all their chocolate and beer nuts. we felt horrible so we vowed one day to come back and leave a collossal tip.

haha i did that trick making a link out of one of my words. i feel stupider tahn ever before.

this is gonna be a long blog, i can feel it.

I fucken cleaned up my place, feel a lot better, more responsible, like the mxpx song.

theres an obligatory fuck here, something i posted i removed again

Its out of context but when i played dodgeball with him that one day i was with Laura for the hot dog bbq for whatever-the-fuck-the-club-was,

--thats a short snippet of what i wrote

Its out of context, but i met a girl. Kristin. Japanese, doesn't speak it. Mean, but not mean to me. she hates rap just about as much as i do, and when i asked her what type of bands she listens to, her first word was punk. passes all the tests so far. i swear tho, if she's a virgin its a no-go.

Working on a Comedy Routine nad a Treatment. lol i love when i mispell "and" that way because i'm excited! the comedy routine i put together goes like this:

1. Bangkok
2. Luke
3. divorce/awarded custody
4. thai girls
5. white guys asian girls/vice versa?
6. mexican comedians
7. the mexican ice cream truck when i was a kid

yeah i'll get more thats about 15 minutes of material i estimate

a treatment is a short summary of a proposed movie, that usually goes along with a script. its sort of like what the guy reads in a preview for a movie. "In a world. Where there is bad stuff. There's a guy. Who will kill the bad stuff." with his deep voice.

i'm tired of talking to myself for now

When you ask yourself what you did with your day, did you ever say,
"I climbed a big ass rock!"?

well thats what i did, and proud of it.

actually i climbed the biggest rock they have, halfway, and fell. then completely conquered second rock.

upper body workout, i feel buff. i went with neighbor chen and girlfriend. actually i didn't know her name for 15 minutes, she just got in my car and we went to del taco. then we were sitting in del taco and i asked her something, when in mid-sentence i remembered i didn't know her name and actually filled where her name would be with "um, chen's-girlfriend". i felt a little flustered.

all in all it was a good time. we got free lessons cuz the place just opened up. i learned what a belay was and conquered my fear of heights kinda, not to mention the workout-adrenaline rush.

now when i got home i'm completely bushed and theres a literal BUCKET of my dads curry sitting on my table, guess he paid another visit. EXTREME.

jeff calls me and said they might go to play pool later. he hasn't called yet and i don't think he's gonna, but i think they went. doesn't piss me off a bit, tho, i'm too bushed anyway.

about other people? i think i should just give up on some people. they are how they are.

yesterday i watched Harold and Kumar with Jeff, Mike, and Gretchen.

afterwards we played xbox at Kenny's house, he has a pug, now I know what kind of dog I want one day, they are so ugly they are cool!

Today I went rock climbing. all day. omg. i forgot one thing when i went, i'm afraid of heights!
thats wasn't so good, but i overcame my fear (cute surrounding girls and wanting to show off helps too) and climbed 4-5 "routes" as they are called, of the second highest wall

dah to be continued again