thinking of becoming friends with Francis again.

Christians are taught to be forgiving. if he really is then he'd understand, and we can be friends again.

Don certainly is not Christian.
Don't know if Laura is.


hmm lets see who else do i have beef with? Rodolfo? nope, not Christian.

On a wierd little sidenote that just comes to mind, me and Jeff have never had one argument.

We might start a business with Big Mike. Computers. fix, upgrade, everything. that would be tight.

More to say.

I spent a lovely friday at home today. thinking about where i'm going in life. could have went to three different things but didn't feel like it. i need to sort things out. things like "WTF i'm 23 and I have no job!". yeah i kinda fired from lifeguarding. nah jk, they found a full timer or something. lol not that i really care. its summer.

Dad made another gesture today, brought me a water cooler. Woke me up 3 times in doing so. ironic - he kind of annoyed me and i haven't seen him for 1 minute this week.

I'm forgiving. Although I'd forgive Laura for what she's done to me I don't think she'll forgive me for what I've done to her. I've poxed her name to all 3 people who read this.

I've poxed her name again last blog. I'll let that one sit a while. Since she likes to read my blog so much that should be a nice stew for her to read that and not be able to talk to me about it because she's never online and won't call me.

read'em and weep. oh wait. you already have!

How can I hate you, how can I harbor such hate in such a short time? Complicated. and it hasn't been such a short time, its been a few months.

Ah well this has turned into another "flame Laura" post, but I think its worth it. to get the message through.

the message is: either really truly be my friend and stop pretending, or get the fuck out my life.

audrey plays that game too. we talk once in every fuckin blue-green-moldy-cheese moon.

grace kept her distance for a long time, now we're on talking terms again. the moon didn't quite get so moldy.

aey and i don't have any way of contacting each other, but we'd still talk too. i have a feeling this is a moon that i will never see again.

i hate this shit.

Much to say.

First of all, if you don't want all of the world to hear about what you do then don't do it. because this world is public and there is no such thing as privacy. especially when you piss off the ones who hold your secrets. you're being watched right now, by god and millions of angels in heaven. thats right they see you masterbate.

Laura thinks we're friends after she hasn't talked to me all summer. I don't think so. Can't just pretend we're all chummy chummy. You've been online plenty of times and haven't said hi. So I posted something nasty about her and then she says, "we have to talk". all of the sudden, things matter, she wants to talk to me. oh, wow, sarcasm just fits in quite well here.

for the whole summer i've been stewing about my relationship with my friends and family. i don't need to worry about you too. so i fondly say go die.

go die sounds a lot like, good bye, but a lot meaner. sayonara means goodbye and is what they say when they will never meet again. so sayonara and go die then.

friends talk. friends share information. and even though you were in hong kong somehow you got to communicate to me.

i took that post off. against ALL my morals and rules. for you. but this one i'm not taking off. i'll respect that people don't need to know some sexual details about you, but I won't respect that you treat me like ass.

since you treat me like ass i think i'll shit on you.

until the day i die, i'll spill my heart for you.

you remind me of the times when i knew who i was.

what should i do tommorrow?

a. sit on my ass
b. go to the beach
c. go see a movie
d. none of the above because someone owes me 80 bucks and i spent all my $$$ on groceries.

thats right, groceries.

I didn't have a 20 to give the pizza guy, so i gave my neighbor chen my 100 dollar bill, he gave me a 20 back.  the price you pay for pepperoni. actually sausage, but nvm.

buying groceries half drunk. thats a new one. i wake up the next day with a lot of frozen foods and plenty of water.  i think ahead for myself a lot, even when drunk i guess.

found some old panties in my laundry, pink, and they aren't mine ;P. are these yours? come claim them. its a thong so i have a pretty good idea whose it is  :O 

New show of the week: Boiling points  on MTV ( i so would win )

my patience is legendary.

i was taking a nap this afternoon, and i woke up with a gimongous spider on my wall, i ran to get the spray so it could die a slow agonizing death and when i came back it was gone.
story of my life.

2 new mp3s on my computer. i made them :)

.post deleted due to explicit content.

Today had steaks for dinner at jeffs.  Very good. Hadn't had a steak in a while.
 
Now its none of my business but I actually like seeing and hearing about how other people's relationships are going.  I enjoy observing the gears that make things move.
 
As suggested I made a list of all the things I should do this summer.  Its on my coffee table.  There's nothing checked off yet but "make list". hrehhrehhreh, i got a chuckle out of that.
 
Recently I did my once a year visit to my old friend Don's website, and I followed a couple links to some ancient people i knew, like Ben and Bua and Dow.  Interesting people, but not my type of interesting.
 
Did i tell you the story of me and Don, and how I lost my best friend. Ah twas long ago, and involved a girl named Audrey.  All her fault I say.  To this day he won't forgive me.  What can I say besides I'm sorry man.  Forgive me.  It was years ago.  We should talk again.

when does a girl bend over to pick something up to make you see something, and when is it just that she needs to get whatever she's picking up?
 
i swear i can not tell.
 
in the case of rebekah, who likes the band "hymn" or something, i don't really mind a peek, won't happen with us anyway, but i'd rather not be thought of as a perv.
 
watching kids learn is a real mindbender.  its like seeing life go full circle, and you're a kid again.  you remember shit you did when you were a kid, and fuck!!! you remember where you left a hershey bar somewhere.
 
being around kids i think lowers you're IQ, but raises your common sense and awareness.
 
its as hot as a chinese oven in my room these days. hooked up the tv again, first show i watched in weeks (months?) was blind date. i laughed my tukus off.

Well, the redorating the place has gone to hell and i haven't finished the script or any songs and  i feel like i'm at an all time low.
 
i have killer new ideas but no fortitude, thats always been my problem.
 
theres no girls. they don't exist for right now.
 
its times like these when i look back on my ex's, and think about what each one meant to me and what happened and why.
 
its friday night and i have nothing to freakin do.  luckily i called a friend and we can go drinking.  yes. just what i need. to get a beer belly. no thanks. 1 beer won't hurt anyway, and i could sure use the company.
 
thinking of westwood. fun times. why can't every day be like that? rhetorical, yes. feasible, kinda.  i found it funny that at the end of the night i gave grace a handshake.  she gave everyone else a hug, but i refused to hug her. there's times when i really really hate her, but then there's times when i wish that (slap me now) i could mend things.  then a relapse and recap of her calling me gay, and dating someone immediately after we broke up makes me want to punch her face again, i think its right in that place. still, walking down the hall, turning my head to look back at her, i felt something strangely like affection.  i had been sort of tricked into even seeing her that night.  i didn't want to go, i didn't want to see her face, but jeff said we were just gonna hang around westwood, so i figured if i did see her face it wouldn't be much of a face-seeing.
 
She tells me of the "falling out" with bonnie.  I remember when she used to be jealous because she thought i liked bonnie.  Why am i thinking about this stuff right now, and whats the relavance? i don't know, pieces of a busted puzzle. i shouldn't care at all.
 
but all in all, grace has been with that guy for a long time now, it must be a deep and true relationship, not some fling to get over me and get me upset. it changes my opinion of grace somewhat.  anyway, i know it won't happen but if that dude ever falls out of line theres still someplace in my heart that would love to go pound on him for her.
 
laura doesn't talk to me even online anymore. i haven't seen or heard from aey in ages, i think its impossible to contact her now, all the numbers we used to have have been changed.
 
did i say one of the key ending factors with me and laura was the fact that i didn't remember the date she lost her virginity, um, to me.  The fact is that i don't remember any dates.  my moms or dads birthday, anniversary days.  But if we look closer it actually stems maybe from something else.  I bet if i asked audrey she would not be able to remember what day i lost my virginity to her, so maybe i got the not remembering thing from her.

So started lifeguarding at camp woodland hills.  omg my co-worker rebekah "yes with a k..." is tall, slender, tanned, with dyed hair.  Not interested tho, so my type its not funny.
 
I teach kids how to swim more than lifeguarding tho. Got a big ol farmers tan already.
 
My dad dropped me off groceries recently, that was sporting of him, i think he's telling me to hurry up and fix his computer.
 
Its funny when people buy you anything, because they are telling you what they think you like. 
 
My dad thinks i like ice cream, alfredo, ham sandwiches, donuts, and burritos.  and he's right :)

i'm a firm believer that if theres a sick taste in your mouth, spit it out.

My dad says there's been a girl that has called the house a few times this last past week, about 5 times. I've listened to the messages that say "Hello? Luke?" and nothing else. Now I can't tell who it is or what they want. So if you are this girl, please, LEAVE YOUR NAME! idk wtf u r, but i shall call you back.

on the plus side, its driving my dad nuts, which is funny. Man that must be an old aquantince if she's calling me at my dad's house, haven't lived there since Nam.

So i'm now accustomed to my new living style.
I sit on the floor and my monitor is on top of a tupperware-like box.

Back problems, ahoy.

looks like i skipped a couple days blogging again... :(

Warped tour was an awesome experience. You have to go once in your life. You'll get a bruise on your arm and crowd surf and get squished. The heat will melt you and the cold will give you the touch of shiva.

I think i should check the mail at my old house, there might be something important, like a chainsaw, or watergun.

I would love to play word association with someone quick witted enough to respond before they second guess themselves.

Biggest relief this week was the last test of sumemr school. now i can fart around at home all day and practice guitar.

Speaking of guitar, went to concert at www.cobaltcafe.com yesterday. "Chatham Fair" includes Mike, my old guitarist from "Blame the Hero". he needed to borrow my amp, so my mattress was freeeeeee. It was great to see such good bands as "nural", and that band from new orleans that i can't remember their name, cuz they kept saying, "we're from new orleans", but not their band name. And it was great to see Nathaniels endeavors suck monkey ass.

I'm a druid in diablo 2 now. they can kill stuff without even fighting. that sucks, i'm lazy even in my video games.... :(

its the little things that make us happy.
here's some little things.

jalapeno pizza from dominoes (watch out when its time for them to come out the other end)

sobe green tea ( i hate those fucking wise-ass caps they have, tho )

white chocolate kit kats (awesome)

have you ever secretely wished someone would die? or be horribly maimed?
what if your loved one became hurt?

been watching that true love reality show, you know, on the who-cares network. and one man paid 1000 dollars for one minute to talk to his wife because he missed her so much for what they put him thru. thats $16.66 a second.

i cannot take this anymore, saying everything i've said before.
all these thought they make no sense.
i find bliss in ignorance.

actually i don't but thats a good theme for my blog title.

Things I just found out:
Blogger.com doesn't save all your posts!!! thats right, all the posts i did at the begining of this blog are gone! poof! WTF. thats when i was at a very emotionally charged point in my life too..... sad. i knew i should have doen this with paper and pen. oh well. at least people can stay current with me since i never talk to anyone. Just read this everyday and you can call yourself my friend. actually i'd prefer it. don't call me, i'm horrible on the phone, just ask my ex-girlfriends.

NOFX is playing at the warped tour tommorrow!
YES!!!! maybe they will do the vagina song.

actually i don't care i just wanted to say i'm going to warped tour tommorrow. ah, i guess i'd better run around happy now, cya.

What about when jenny kissed me on the cheek a few weeks ago?? What about her other guys she likes. Are they all just a clever ruse? I mean, do girls just kiss guys on the cheek when they are leaving? She's the only one who does that.

I'm making a mountain of a mole hill there but I thought it needed some forward thought.

anyway, here's a snippet of my extra credit assignment for Cell Bio and Physiology. It had soem stuff that pertains to my life, I think it ties in well with my blogging

Luke G
Extra Credit Exam 2

2.
I had allocated most of my study time to answering and finding out the answers to the study questions and going over the class notes, because the first exam was made up of half of the study questions, the other half was split between notes and the book. I thought I had learned form the first test and go over the study questions as well. I went back and forth from different website to find out these sample test questions and LEARN something from them, because what use is memorization if you don't learn. This was my downfall to this test. Almost no questions came from the study questions, but rather from the book, most book questions we don't really cover in class. To be honest, I don't have the book, I share an old version with a friend I study with. I will probably fail or get a D in this class but I won't give up, there's still the miracle of getting an A on the final test, plus doing this extra credit. I did the extra credit for the first test but I didn't know there were instructions for it online. As a result I probably did not get any extra credit. To make matters worse, I ran out of printer paper and had to print my extra credit out on notebook paper. This whole session had been bad for me. I missed 1 or 2 classes because I had 2 different kinds of flu. There was a death in my family, my uncle Domrong Klupngam passed away. I do not intend to make excuses, in the end if I don't pass its my fault. I'll try to do the best I can and I'll probabably be taking this again in Fall. However, I can say that I did LEARN in this class. I learned a lot. The teaching method is great, even though Dr. Tomasek may not be the best lecturer I like the slides and the daily quizzes. I also think the extra credit is ridiculusly tedious and the questions on the exam are misleading, but theres nothing I can do about either one. So those are all the reasons why I missed these questions on exam 2. I could have just spread them out over the course of the 33 questions I got wrong, but I think I'd run out of excuses, and Dr. Tomasek said he doesn't want to see the excuses. So here they are in paragraph form, which I shall no doubt copy and paste for each one I got wrong, then explain the correct answer.

Cholesterol is correct because is has a fatty acid tail.

Summary:

How I plan to change my study habits is a perplexing question indeed. No matter what I do I fail the tests, even though I feel like I know everything we go over in class. Theres not enough time in the day to study for this class, but I'll study all night for these next five days till the last exam because theres still a chance. The inconsistancy of the material on tests makes them very hard to study for. One test it is half sample questions, the next test there are about three sample questions. My notebook is filled with almost everything Dr. Tomasek says in class, I'm at the last few pages left of it. I take part and ask questions at the begining, in the middle, and at the end of the class. Everything he puts on the board I copy instantly into my notebook, and put into memory. I don't know why I'm doing so bad, I love biology and I love this class. Here's to more studying.

mmm yes. funerals. makes you think about where you are in your life.

First time I ever cremated anybody. it was wierd. you help bring the casket to this big furnace that says "hot" and they push a big orange button and the body of your only thai uncle is gone.

its july 4th today, and i got a call to go hang out at adams. thank god. i would have just sat home all night. thank god for awesome friends like jeff.

beautiful view

i got my leg humped by adams dog, it only humps me for some reason.

at least andrew didn't ruin the day for me by touching me too much

irony says that the thai girl living next door to me is named Annie too! LOL....

she's not as tall as i once thought, i thought she was taller than me, she's pretty nice..... nicer than her brother chen at least.

yeah, i haven't talked to chinese annie since she said she likes clubs...

i need a girl who isn't in a phase i was in 2 years ago.

i once said i wanted a girl who can cook. FUCK THAT. I DONT FUCKING CARE. i can fucking cook. i just want a girl who will nod her head to the same music i do and laugh a bunch.

i don't care whether its with me or at me.

I went to my uncles funeral yesterday, and my dad made me take pictures of EVERYTHING....

who goes to a funeral and takes pictures? like who wants to remember it?

my dad went all out for his brother, flowers, all his friends were there, he even made a video slideshow of some pictures of my uncle i never saw.

to be continued i gotta go