i'll ask myself how my first day of school was. like i'm 12 and someone gives a fuck.

i started off going to kings for the famous breakfast burrito. somehow didn't taste the same. same burrito i got laura hooked on. same burrito.

looking totally nerdy, went on campus and saw new stuff. wanted to throw pens in peoples eyes.

sometimes i can visualize myself sidekicking random people on the sidewalk just to see them fly off. it makes me smile at my miserable mood.

realized that 50% of the girls at csun wear ug boots. not complaining.

guess me and jeff are going to the bar to celebrate our "end of freedom" tonight. i am still feeling sick, but i got a lot of shit done today. registered my wheels at the dmv being the main one. another year..... another 325 in parking tickets to pay before i can even drive my car legallly

called Aey for some reason today. maybe i was feeling lonely or needed to be amused, one of the two. blocked grace on my buddy list. can't stand her always being there. andrew the gay is in my class. thats it for romantical things.

bought new contacts at lens crafters. rather, bought another box of the crappy cheap ones that i have perscribed. asked them why they are so crappy, they said because i mistreat them by sleeping in them. doh.

could this get any more boring? let me post my grocery list and shoe size.

this note is just one of the many from me to you to tell you that i'm ok.

school starts tommorrow.

i'm just 3 smiles away.
hope i don't make you frown.

slept for 5 hours after work.

hungry as hell, throat dry.

checked my email. and hot damn, people wanna give me 300 bucks for my old laptop.

also, selling the black yamaha bass to big mike for 200, it's practically his anyway, might as well.

so thats 500 bucks. i'm not poor anymore.

people of the world. sleep.

while i serenade you with simple self-pity and eminem serenades me on mtv.

thing is, i hate eminem. its like a torture that makes me curl my lip. as even the things i do to give myself entertainment annoy me.

if only i can get through this.
you have to help me get through this.

give me until tommorrow and i'll be ok.

problem is tommorrow never comes.

its always today when you never sleep.

new destination: Van Nuys

no i didnt wake up this early, i've stayed up this late.

the only way i'll make it thru this is staying up all night so that i'll sleep the next day.

i've said last words to Grace. again. i've never had so many mixed feelings about a single person in all my life. however, no matter what you have in terms of feelings for a person, the strongest one still remains. the one you fight hardest to control and contain. and it only brings you down. i had something witty to say about love, but i forgot, now all i want to say is all it does is bite me in the ass. yes, bite me in the ass and make me run.

when you have loved someone, its there until it is replaced with an equal amount of some other feeling.

and when that person is around, you once had feelings for, its like seeing a picture in your house that you have no idea how it got there. wtf is it doing there? and who put it there? you have no use for this picture. maybe you did at one point, but now its just taking up space. sure it may look nice, but what else is its purpose? i left it in my house for too long, and finally got tired of it.

songs that have been playing over and over in winamp lately:

The Killers - All these things
Daniel Beddingfield - Gotta get through this
Amber - Sexual

i got soul but i'm not a soldier.

i'm dead broke. sorry indy

yet i still bought someone tiramisu with some of my last dollars.

so angry now i could puke.

just thinking about the weezer song "In the Garage"

that pretty much describes my life for the past few months.

I live in a guest house made out of a garage. Thats about to change, tommorrow, but before that, I wish to reflect upon my time here in the garage. The cave. The endless abyss. Place of sorrows. Epitomy of emptyness.

Only my very good friends have been here. Even had the balls to have a girl or two over, before it was even fixed up. balls because i think, after they saw the place, and even though they stayed because i'm a cool guy, they never wanted to come over again.

I thank my friends, who came to visit me during dark times, to enjoy a few rounds of street fighter and a movie or two. Means all the difference to me. In Japan, it is one of the highest honors to be invited to someone's house. Its about showing a large part of who you are. Its about the trust you give to someone by inviting them into your dwelling, the place you eat, sleep, and work. I tend to give it the same honor.

What happens now is I move into a new place, that is close to my old old place, with a new person, and a new perspective, and an old rut gone.

I think we will get along fine. She hasn't ever felt up my girlfriend like my last roommate and the 3rd roommate doesn't even exist there. Plus we listen to the same music and eat the same food, what could be better than that? I might have to leave and sleep outside in a tent if her Dad ever comes to town, but hey, i'm a man who isn't scared of a night under the stars.

so, so long to the garage, where i feel safe, where no one hears me sing this song.

went to sleep at 1:30 last night. early.

coughed for 4 hours in bed then finally fell asleep.
woke up at 7 to be at work by 9. still was late half an hour.
spent the day at work with flu.

my new motto: if you're sick, go to work. if you're turning green, then haul your green ass to work.

practiced with tomas yesterday.

practiced BAND, sicko.

mike couldn't come. he still has my bass.

do i blog a lot of what i did the day before?

guess so.

i soooooo don't live in the present.

hot damn, the posting today has gotten out of control.

thats it. i'm taking a shower and going outside.

-lg

its nice to see people like this:

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=7542500&Mytoken=20050117192613

on my space with NO friends.

beauty isn't everything? indeed. grow a personality.

so far on myspace.com 2 people have asked to be my friend.

both white girls, between the ages of 16-19....

what gives? is this a representation of the majority of myspace people, or do white chicks just dig me?

i never even seen their movie. god!

Gotta get back to being random. too pre dick table.

So I dounf (actual spelling used not corrected there) a place. This girl Indira, she's cool. Looks like I'm moving in. Its across the street where I used to live.

Songs/bands you don't know I like:

Tatu
Frank Sinatra
Elvis
UB 40
Bjork

yeah i think thats enough for now you're about to fall out of your chair laughing.

got this from jen

1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the "shuffle" command
4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. Thats right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility.
5. Write it up in your blog or journal and link back to at least a couple of the other sites where you saw this.
6. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurances. You don't have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of ten song with five artists, you can if you'd like

1. Ja Rule - Its Murda (instrumental)
2. The Juliana Theory - Don't Push Love Away
3. Finch - Letters to You (acoustic)
4. Thursday - Jet Black New Year
5. Kiss - We're Not Gonna Take it
6. Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies - Runaway
7. Reel Big Fish - Hungry Like the Wolf
8. Switchfoot - This is Your Life
9. Rufio - Set it Off
10. The Get Up Kids - Mass Pike

so yeah.

getting lost in the journals of Lewis and Clark.

i'm such a dumbass. i thought if i was going to survive on my own i would bring like 10,000 matches and a flint stone (perferably Barney) with a knife to start fires. all you need is a fucking magnifying glass.

this country used to be full of bison. great plains, the land of the eagle, bear, and coyote.

now its skyscrapers and landscaping. i like the city, but i like the country. arghhhhhhh.

the ignorance of man. leadership. history from a point of view. mutiny. survival. this book is great.

random thought before i go to work.

dork ( P ) (dôrk)n.
Slang. A stupid, inept, or foolish person: “the stupid antics of America's favorite teen-age cartoon dorks” (Joshua Mooney).
Vulgar Slang. The penis.

would you like another story?

my dad never paid child support. my mom never sued him because he was my hero.

now that i'm grown he's not my hero.

he's trying to make it up to me now, and when i graduate he said he's going back to thailand, and i know he's gone for good.

so deep down i love my dad. and i don't want to graduate. i don't want him gone for good.

http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=993964

here's me laughing by myself for half an hour again.

i spent a while today thinking about new years resolutions. why people make them etc...

came up with this:

the easier it is to make a resolution, the more you know about yourself.
the harder it is to fufill one, the less you know about yourself.

if you make a resolution and forget or don't accomplish it, its one more goal you haven't reached.
its one more slit vertically on your arm you have to make.

thats why i don't make them. or if i do, its a simple one. i know a lot about myself.

Let me tell you a story. storytime.

about 5 years old. i still remember my grandmother. and the most outstanding thing i remember about her was that she'd take walks to saddleback ranch market, with me. 5 miles away, that was a long way to walk for a kindergartener or 1st grader or whatever i was.

we'd never buy anything. maybe a soda.

grandma mary was always poor after her divorce. always spiteful to grandpa's new wife. and always had a way to spark my imagination. whether pet rocks with glue on plastic eyes (the kind that weeples have), or bird watching, she helped raise me and a lot of my attributes are my grandmother's.

except one.

grandma loved green bell peppers. and always scholded me whenever there was a meal and i wouldn't eat them. i would even eat pizza with them.

one day grandma made an omelette and it had green bell peppers. needless to say i refused to eat the omelette. this is when she decided to put her foot down. she didn't make omelettes for nothin, by gum!

well i couldn't leave the table till i ate them. so ate them i did, and 10 minutes later i threw them up heartily in my mom's bathroom.

i think i got a lot of ice cream and more trust from my grandmother after that.

thus the story of why luke doesn't like and will never eat green bell peppers. even on pizza.

Keyword(s)
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--that's so sad....

i'm in a rut. those famous words from the jeffster ring so true.

i need to get out of this place.

one thing i've noticed browsing friendster at 4 in the morning. i immediately close a window of someone if they say the first and main thing they listen to is hip-hop.

maybe i'm being close-minded about that, but then, aren't they too?

:(

ever look into your pocket after a hard night, and find a beer label and wind up thinking to yourself "i don't remember drinking that!"

oh, maybe its just me then.

http://www.friendster.com/viewphotos.php?uid=10100840

i'm sorry, when i read "the raisin in the moon" i just started cracking up. ROFL LOL LMAO

most retarded quotes under her pictures, but not a bad hourglass.

its high time i realized the internet has other uses again, other than online games and ordering pizzas that arrive cold and with the wrong toppings.

hell, its gotten me 2 dates, possibly 3. i'll stoop to the internet but i won't stoop farther than that.

my order of dating goes: friends, friends of friends, internet, random person off the street.

i won't date anyone i haven't met or talked to. no blind dates.

i have another week off work. am i being fired slowly? lol.

here's my first post of the year.

i had a very chill evening tonight. with some new people. met a few girls, watched ball drop.

lisa was very cool and i wouldn't mind getting her number except it seems she can't go out after midnight any day of the year except new years. not my type probably. my type is very independent. also has little brother. my type is an only child. i liked her laugh, i could make her laugh a lot. she said i had a very nice singing voice. i just smiled. when the ball dropped she said she wanted to kiss someone. i pointed to her 10 year old little brother. even though it woulda been great to point to myself. i think that would be a wierd thing for her brother to see. so i didn't make a move the whole night. twister was fun though.

terry? tara? i don't remember her name exactly, stayed the night there with brian. i admired her taking back sunday belt.

i asked where she met brian. she was embarrassed and said ask him. i asked him. it was the internet.

i made no resolutions this year. but i did realize one thing.

i gotta get back to meeting people on the internet.