hell sent an invoice. they have a surplus of one Luke.

well thank god christmas is over. i would hate to have 8 or 10 or 12 days of it like hannaka (can't spell it)

maybe new years will be good.

i FINALLY got some time off of work. now what will i do with it? here comes the list of things you don't care about that i have to do.

get new drivers license.
go to dmv
cash all checks ( hmm this should be #1 i guess)
book
music
groceries.
ugh..... dishes
clean living room
make sure i give all presents i bought to people. fuck gift wrap.
don't eat any more del taco

at any one given time i should not give myself more than 10 things to do, or else they wont get done.

saw Life Aquatic with the peeps today. reminds me of old times. just blatant fun. david, what a guy.

movie sucked and 2 people fell asleep during it, but nothing can replace that going out with your friends feeling that i've missed for so long.

Life Aquatic, that will be my future. marine biology. thats my major. uhhhhhh....
if i learned one thing then it would be that i'll work on not getting that beer belly.

there's some things i have to say before the new years over, and i know i never do anything i promise in my blog, but, hopefully i'll be drunk enough one of these days to where i'll type them out.

i should say my closing thoughts on this year. about all thats happened to me girl-wise, friend-wise and other. yes thats what i'll say, when i'm drunk enough.

christmas is just another day in the year.

i wake up. hobble into my living room with a slight headache from malnutrition. there's no family. there's no tree. there's no joy.

for a moment i am reminded of christmases past. being the outcast asian in a group of white people in chicago. everyone trying to pretend i am one of them. everyone trying to make me feel like part of the group. at least there was a family. at least there was a tree. at least there was joy.

then i am snapped back to the reality of my current situation. i walk to my computer, and start typing. ever had a tear that just wouldn't come out?

my christmas this year consists of two boxes. one from my mom, various christmas paper shredded lying about the box, the only use of anything out of the box was a bag of pistachios and a bar of chocolate. the other box from my aunt karen and uncle marty, obviously giving me a used blanket one of their kids grew didn't want.

don't feel like calling anyone. too depressed. not even my mom.

will i really die alone? life is over-rated. you're staring at a blue screen. at a very blue man. silence is a secret, a weapon in disquise. listen to my silence and open up your eyes. the dream is over. i haven't slept in years. i'm not looking for answers. do you understand? do you understand what you see to be true? tell me who writes the truth. this is my history.

this christmas i will spend cleaning my house. i can't wait to pass the time in my room alone.

merry christmas everyone.

sorry lack of posts. warcraft owns me on winter break.

so i got a flat tire, ruined an axle, and was late for work.

i've never worked this close to christmas. it blows.

remind me to tell the story of why i hate green peppers.

phrases for the day

like the pot calling the tea kettle black.

even a broken clock is right twice a day.

even the sun shines on a dead moose ass once in a while.

and its working.

called in to sick work today. was coughing up blood a bit.

between fits of listening to songs over and over, i got some work done today finally.

feeling better. maybe i should just quit the highest paying job i've had.

talked to my mom today. she hooked me up with some insurance. i realized more than ever when she told me about her 21 year old neighbors who are married, that i am really on my own.

i think i'll do much better now that i know that for sure.

http://www.humblepie.com/cs534/cs534scripts4.html

its not so hard, but time is a valuble thing, as you realize 3 hours before its due. and it was assigned the begining of the semester. LOL.

procrastination's finest moments are held in the twinkle of my life.

lost my freaking wallet. there was 400 cash and a 85 dollar check in it. nice timing, my registration and insurance is up on my car, that was the money for it.

do i owe the devil money? anyway he seems to take it when he wants.

things to ponder while you're wasting your time at my site

If they say TV's so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?

Have you ever noticed that anyone going faster than you is a maniac and anyone going slower than you is an idiot?

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

nothing to eat in the house again. losing weight from sheer starvation. yet i go christmas shopping for my friends.

work makes me hate my life and want to die.but how you doin? :) car is breaking down. deathly ill? wow you're like me? cool.

now a random list of things i'm royally creeped out by.

1. the aflac duck
2. ET
3. the grudge commercial
4. lifelike dolls
5. bug documentaries on the discovery channel

well blogger was down. and i said a whole bunch of funny things too.

saw nam. saw grace. and ate u-dogs all in the same day. (u dogs are gourmet hot dogs btw)

laura still insists we hang out after her finals. she says not what we shall do, and she says not what for. she just mostly says not.

everyone always freaks out around finals. i haven't even had a certain class for 3 weeks.

next week and then done for the semester. imagine that. then i'm free to work whenever they want to crack the whip. feel like a mule. pack mule. following the carrot that is money and tolerating the snap.

next semester is probably genetics and chemistry. exciting life eh? yeah, exciting just like bread mold. invigorating just like an amoeba's sex life. lame just like the jerry lewis kids.

i think its safe to tell you something.

its not just what you say to people
and its not the way you look at me
its the way you present yourself

for all your worst critics to see.

and it feels like, i'm at an all time low.





song lyrics. yet for a moment. mine.

4 am again.

can't sleep.

i don't know how long i'll stay up tonight.

will it be till 5? 6? the dreaded 7? all nighter?

can't sleep.

i wish i could. then i would have dreams of zatoichi, u-dogs, and spiders.