life truly is the suck right now.

its 4 hours before i have to go to work again and i'm not asleep yet.

i had work today till midnight and scheduled to open the next day at 10am.

someone out there thinks i'm a bitch. well i have news.

i'm about to chew off my collar.

i might have done the stupidest thing the other day.

i broke up with a girl i had absolutely everything in common with.

its time to tell you who i am again.

i like to look at reflections of crowds of people, but not people themselves.
i perfer the coarseness of sand to the fluff of a pillow
i perfer the coarse grass to the sand
i often take time out of my day to stare blankly at something
i often take leaps and bounds when step by step would have been fine
theres nothing i can't imagine
cold is better than hot
i can wait for a tree to die
i keep things for very long times
dark is better than light
i let people know when things bother me
one perfect thing is worth more than a million imperfect

Fools Garden - Lemon Tree Lyrics

I'm sitting here in a boring room

It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon

I'm wasting my time, I got nothing to do

I'm hanging around, I'm waiting for you

But nothing ever happens -- and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car

I'm driving too fast, I'm driving too far

I'd like to change my point of view

I feel so lonely, I'm waiting for you

But nothing ever happens, and I wonder

(Chorus)
I wonder how, I wonder why

Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky

And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree

I'm turning my head up and down

I'm turning, turning, turning, turning, turning around

And all that I can see is just a yellow (another) lemon tree

La, la da dee da, etc.
....................................
And all that I can see
And all that I can see (dit dit dit)
And all that I can see is just a FUCKING yellow lemon tree

a poem

do i trust my mind or your lips?
i try to listen to reason but all i hear is a kiss

just what am i asking for
an angel above or my heart on the floor

do i trust my heart or your words

still working on the rest....

my mom calls at 10 pm. its midnight her time.

she's been robbed. by a 62 year old lady.

the old lady she was living with changed all the locks and is keeping her tv, collection of dvds and cds, perfumes, and all her possesions.

my mom just kept saying, why do bad things happen to good people?

we went thru the facts that she had rent reciepts and that she could take her to court. but that doesnt change the fact that until after the court hearing that lady still has my moms stuff, and theres no way for my mom to prove that was her stuff.
she'd probably lose the case.

mom kept crying.

i started to cry a little too.

i had a 40 minute conversation with myself today.

i was sitting across a table from myself at starbucks.

i had a chai latte and the other me had a carmel frap, extra caramel.

i tried to think of whats universal in life, i've heard a few things.

1. perception is reality
2. wherever you go, there you are.
3. whatever you do, you did it.
4. we all want the same things in life, we just argue about what we call them.

upper back pain and 2 grey hairs? wtf i can't be that old.

alright time to get blogging.

i haven't really updated in like a month, so i guess its time to remind myself whats up.

current fetishes:
cream soda.
technics turntables.
using anti virus software.
doing online surveys for benifits.

i still only have one class at CSUN and i'm barely passing. i feel like a semi-failure. but i'm doing really well at work. promotion coming my way.

anyway. the coast guard is coming up soon isn't it. well it was nice knowing you all.....