a book of suicide notes i read at angela's place.

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewwork.asp?id=13221

its either hate, love, depression, or anger that turns people.

i guess those are the four winds that blow us in certain directions.

You're standing there alone
And so am I
But I want you here
By my side
Your smile at me
Is everything
The staring game
That song of love.

so i'm at work yesterday, and not getting paid for it mind u, just to be nice to this guy who works there. and lo and behold, i make a new friend.

we go to sanamluang, i meet his whole family, he's philipino, so i cursed him because he knows philipinas.

then i grab my guitar and we jam, looks like we got a new band! emo, his cousin sings.

philipinos keep the fridge stocked on my favorite beer, MGD.

any ideas on band names? leave comments if u wish.

my dad bought an apple G4. ARGH.

i'm still having probs getting my licence unsuspended. double ARGH.

still having probs getting my car registered. triple ARGH.

still having probs with fish dying. mini-ARGH.

expecting one GIBUNGUS check from best buy soon, i need it.

money is tight, which makes my belt tight, which isn't very tight at all.

i realize guys usually have a sexual thought every 5-15 seconds.

my goal in life is to bring it down to about 1 every minute or something.

wheresmyricebowl (8:57:30 PM): haha lol
wheresmyricebowl (8:57:39 PM): lol that was redundant....
wheresmyricebowl (8:57:48 PM): lol haha
wheresmyricebowl (8:57:52 PM): omg..............................

5 simple but wierd joys. a luke production.

5. going to school on a saturday, then remembering its a saturday. this isn't really a pure joy, because u feel stupid a little.

4. getting a new pet, and naming it something stupid.

3. walking with duck steps to the cubboard or cabinet where you keep the toilet paper after you run out. its across the bathroom, and you feel stupid for a little while, but eventually you get there, and joy.

2. listening to a song and realizing its real good, possibly by downloading the wrong song stupidly. keeping it to yourself.

1. the all powerful curly fry in a bag of regular fries. someone's stupid mistake.



henceforth, all joy comes from somebody doing something stupid.

its a rainy night.

the drops hit cold and hard.

the tryptamine starts working, then i start talking.

why does love sometimes feel like you've lost everything?

religion.

i downloaded a bible online.

reading it is pretty cool. it says something like a 6 headed dragon is supposed to come at the end of the world.

poem about recent life, or lack thereof:

on the way home from work i pass a gravestone maker
and i realize its been some time since i've laughed real hard
the crab laughs and the tiger flies
you killed it before it was born
you killed it before it was born

you can't give me the credit i so much deserve
you could have what you wanted if you just had the nerve
one thing is done and the other is gone
one thing is done and the other is gone

i stopped to read a book
and when i looked up you weren't there
i looked back down and you were in the pages

being sober sucks.

worked on the car yesterday. my nails are still filthy.

i noticed i haven't said much about angela, even though she says a lot about me.

it feels kind of wierd owning someone elses car. i find the previous owner's school ID, her lifeguard ID, and her little stuffed puppy. then i find her weed stains, to do book filled with "nails" and "hair", "jon", "mike" and "playboy".

i throw the stuff in the garbage and continue working on the car.

what do you do when you're fucking tired.

its bad when your to do list is more than 1 page long.

so i decided to do something about it.

i bought a car. one thing out of the way.

91 celica. from a police auction. 600 bucks.

one thing out of the way.

thinking random thoughts.

i havent had a chance to tell you how its going in a while.

i no longer drive 50 miles to work anymore. now i drive like 5. and its a totally better tupac environment now.

i've gotten so used to driving my dad's car, that when i drive other cars, i try to change the gears with the windshield wiper lever.

i have new pets. fish. 2 died. 1 crab got out of the aquarium and my roomate thought it was a bug and killed it.

andy milinakis show. random. good.
r-kelly. likes pee. bad.

my list of things to do grows longer by the day, and i just look at it with the kind of self-remorse and loathing that only a true procrastinator can.